What happens when you lose your inspiration? OR rather it may be classified as over inspired? What happens when you have a thousand ideas running through your head, when you have so many words to say, so many stories to tell, so many experiences so much inside of you that you think you could just explode?
Today my fingers just cant type fast enough, my thoughts are all swirling and i have no idea what to write, which story to tell, which point to start at… I’m sitting here with 20 minutes left of my lunch break listening to my favorite song of the moment, wondering which story i should tell today… Should i tell you more about my mom make the tears flow down your cheeks, should i tell you the boring story of how i got to the point of IVF – a story that is not much more then any other IVF story, or do i write something that will make you feel so warm and fuzzy inside you just have to smile?
Tomorrow marks the beginning of my journey my 100 day count will officially begin… so in the last 7 minutes i will replay my song and let you know how i got to this point, short and sweet…
There are many places i could say my IVF journey begun, but for me i think it begun with a gut feeling nearly 5 years ago… For a brief moment somewhere along the lines i can remember the thought running through my head that i may not be able to have children, but at that point in my life the thought didn’t concern me much, as i was not ready.
So progress along the time line 4 years, my husband and i decided (this took about a month or so of arguing) to stop taking contraception… with the thought that we would just go on life as normal and if i fell pregnant then that was great, no stress, no pressure, we weren’t telling anyone… perfect.
So what went wrong? Honestly i’m still not sure, and on top of that i am still not sure how i got to the point of IVF… it has all gone so quickly, i have on many occasions compared this part of my life to a nightmare, and in fact, in my mind it is as hazy as a nightmare is when you first wake from it.
But no matter how i got here, i am here on the IVF journey. We have spent the best part of the year trying IUI’s and most recently a failed IVF Cycle – which in fact is a story of its own that i will have to tell another day as my remaining seven minutes has quickly past…
To end todays somewhat inspiration-less thoughts i look up to my work wall where a card has been pinned… Inside it has a quote that means more then the words could ever say simply because someone dear to me wrote it in that card when i needed it most of all…
“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all” Dale Carnegie
