Day 7 FET Cycle -Progynova 2mg 3x daily
For some reason today i’m not that inspired… Maybe it is because i am simply living my life at the moment? It is quite weird, i set out on my journey not looking really to gain anything, with just the thought that i would write down how i am feeling to maybe help me through my emotions personally. I never really imagined that 35 days later i would have many new friends and feel this content…
It’s like i dont feel alone anymore. I feel like no matter how hard it is, no matter how depressed i feel, there is someone, many ones out there thinking of me and hoping for me just as much as i am hoping for them.
It’s no secret that i am a woman of God, and i have found a different strength each day being able to pray for others instead of me, and my family. I have found that i have purpose being able to pray and hope for others in the same situation as me, a sense of purpose by giving little snippets of advise, trying to be funny, and also asking for help when i needed it.
And you know what? Who knew that the worst 36 days of my life, was really the best? And i know at the end of my 100 days, no matter the out come i will still be sitting here, saying the same thing, that the worst 100 days was really the best 100 days of my life.
Of course i have no idea what is going to happen in the next 64 days, at this point in time i am hoping that i will be sharing the first 64 days of my first pregnancy, and at Christmas finally telling everyone i have a “bun in the oven” but again, i dont know. I may be sitting here in 64 days crying over the fact that it is over, that i may never get to be a mom…Or that my 100 days will turn into 200 days?
And as my boss would say “where is the gift?” This is the adventure in it all i think, finding the gift and following the challenge i have set myself, giving myself something to keep me going emotionally and physically. Giving myself and believing in a “reason” for my infertility.
I have to say again, and i am sorry for repeating myself, but i really never imagined that i would get this far in so little time, feel this content, or feel like suddenly i am living my life again, trying new things, learning new things, giving little parts of me out to the wide world, making me feel like i have purpose and that i am not just an infertile waste of space….
And you helped me do that, and i really want to thank you for the past 36 days, and also the next 64…
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Eleanor Roosevelt
