End of IVF Cycle
Today i woke up and said that today was going to be a good day, that today was going to be my day. Today was not my day, today was not a good day. Today i failed... Yes that is right END of IVF cycle.
Today after 26 days - 10 days of needles 3 days of intense pain, 5 days of anticipation, 8 days of emotional torment, and four thousand dollars - bled out of me.
It is over and i am numb.
There is nothing i can do... But go on. There are 71 more days to go in my journey and i must go on, pick myself up and try again, this is the challenge...
So in the spirit of all things not pregnant, my top ten things that i am going to go and do... Humor me - it is the best ive got right now without being suicidal... (that there is a joke)
- I am going to wake up at the crack of dawn and go for a super long and super fast run, ended by a massive sprint
- I am going to drink 1 massi 3 shot skinny latte, followed by 1 large 2 shot skinny latte, followed by 1 regular 1 shot skinny latte, followed by maybe another afternoon regular
- I am going to get a Brazilian wax
- I am going to buy a dress that fits me now, and that will only look good on me when i am 60kg
- I am going to line up all of my heels from shortest to tallest, pick the highest of high stilettos and wear them all day
- I am going to take a strong knock me out kind of pain relief for these bloody cramps
- I am going to have a glass of wine with my dinner
- I am going to wallow in self pity - just a little
- I am going to drink some more coffee
- And finally i am going to pick myself up, call the nurse and get back to the doctor as soon as i can - because in the end what else can i do? Cry?
"Que Sera, Sera, Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours, to see. Que Sera, Sera What will be, will be....." Doris day
