Day Thirteen of IVF Cycle – 8.30 EPU (egg pick up) checked in at 8am, went in and once again (same thing happened last time) it took me well over 2 hours to recover – they say that some people just dont react to anesthetic well (that would be me!) Great news though, 10 eggs this time! Well worth the pain, at this stage anyway, tomorrow we will find out how many fertilized tonight.
Hardship:- a condition that is difficult to endure; suffering; deprivation; oppression, something hard to bear, as a deprivation, lack of comfort or constant toil…
I will not lie to you, some days of an IVF cycle you face both emotional and physical turmoil, sadness, pain and the feeling that you cannot go on. It is hard. The doctors warn you that it is emotionally troubling, they give you free psychologist appointments, just to make sure you and your partner are surviving, but no matter what they tell you about the struggle, you will never really understand it until you have been through it.
I am sitting here in bed, holding off on the pain relief for a couple more hours so that i dont fall asleep before i eat, and i am watching the news. Five minutes ago i was feeling very sorry for myself, in so much pain, yelling at my husband because he was being inconsiderate, then the stories of all the disasters overseas came on, and suddenly my anguish seemed so insignificant, and all i can think of is…
I am selfish because i am blessed.
Watching the heart ache that mother nature has caused, there is no rhyme or reason for it, no explanation, it just happened. People died, people are suffering, they have no where to live, some are trapped, scared, confused, and in emotional and physical turmoil – just like i said i was.
But i am blessed. I have everything i need, a roof over my head, a husband that loves me, friends, family…
They are the ones that need hope
They are the ones that need faith
They are the ones that need a little miracle
All my troubles seem so selfish, and my woes insignificant compared to the pain, hardship and inhumanity caused by these natural disasters overseas – it makes me ask once more – Where are you God?
I have just realized that while i may feel pain, i may feel like i am suffering, i may feel like i have been delt the worse cards, that my hardship is nothing compared to what some others face in their lifetime.