Day 26 FET Cycle -Progynova 2mg 3x daily, Progesterone pessaries 3x daily
I hope this post is not taken the wrong way – but i am a little frustrated, and mostly with myself.
I am feeling fat. Under normal circumstances i would go for a run, a fast, long and hard run. But i can not, and for good reasons – and i dont mind that fact, but it doesnt change the fact that i feel fat.
Last year i was so disciplined with myself, i wouldnt eat anything unhealthy, no chocolate, no lollies, no carbs – i was awesome!
But this year slowly as the infertility issues got worse and with each hopeful proceedure, i began eating more and working out a little less as hard. i had the excuse of – ill be pregnant so it wont matter.
Now a year later. and i think i am about 5kg heavier, and right now, at this second, am just feeling fat.
I have once again, like many other, and like i have in the past, fallen victim to “emotional eating”
I have infact just finished two plates of apple crumble and ice cream.
I look at myself sometimes and think “what have i done?”
Why cant i just stop myself from eating? Why am i victim to these eating habits again? Why does food make me feel so good?
And if i cant stop myself now, how will i control it when i am pregnant and after i have my child…
i plan to go for a walk when it cools down this afternoon – but it is not enough. Why did i do that? eat two serves of apple crumble?
And why do i care so much?
I am not disgustingly unhealthy – most of the time i eat wholemeal and soy… It really just is the weekend…
I really wish that i could get rid of my ‘appearance issues’ .. they will have to go quickly when i begin to grow a belly…
Oh i dont know, i really really dont know anymore, i know i am just silly, i know that i am being stupid, but honestly i do sometimes look at myself and wish that it wasnt a struggle for me.
What should i do? How do i approach my body fears? And how can i get over my emotional eating habits, before i loath myself?
What would you do?
“How things look on the outside of us depends on how things are on the inside of us.” Anon
