Day twenty of the final full IVF cycle in our quest to chase our little miracle… Crinone 8% once daily.
Sometimes there are never the right words. Sometimes we spend hours, days, weeks, and maybe even months searching for just the right thing to say. Right now i am doing just that, searching for the right words to say what i need to say to you.
Many of you i am sure think that i am just that little bit crazy… Many of you who knew me last year, know that this year the crazy in me certainly raised to a new level, but that my friends is why i write you this letter.
I wanted to start by saying that this year has by far been one of the most challenging years of my life, i have never been through so much pain, so many highs, nor so many soul destroying lows ever before, and i have been through a lot in my lifetime. I know that many of you have walked past my desk and seen the tears roll down my face, you may have realised why, or you may have just dismissed this and put it down to the crazy in me, i dont know. But i do know that you all had understanding, and for that i thank you.
Some of you know parts of my story and some of you may not want to know, or care, but i sit here today writing to you to let you know just how much you have been there for me and supported me throughout my journey.
I want to thank you for all the times when you showed me that understanding, and i want to thank you for all the times when just a simple hug or a simple shoulder rub meant that i got through the afternoon. I want to also thank you for giving me stories from your past, and stories of the people who found hope and happiness from similar situations. There are not many places where you would find such a great team of people who would try to understand, and try to offer you all that they could to give you even just a moment of happiness, not many groups of people that would give you all the time you needed just to get through.
The words that i am looking for will never be enough for you to understand just how much i appreciate the friendships i have found in each and everyone of you here. I wanted to give each and everyone of you something so that you knew just how much you mean to me, and just how much the understanding in your hearts has impacted me and the journey i went though this year, but there was nothing that would be big enough to show just the right amount of thanks that i have. The only thing i could think of that would convey to you my emotions, was my story…
And here it is. I have written a journal entry everyday for the past 87 days, and will continue for the next 13, my story is now yours, and i hope that in someway my story will inspire you the way that you have inspired me, and i hope that by sharing my story you understand how precious each and every day is.
And like a very wise man asked me what now seems like a life time ago…
“Where is the Gift in this?”
The gift my friends is life – living each day at a time, never regretting the decisions you make, nor ever taking an ounce of what you have in life for granted.
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today? Today is a gift, that is why they call it the present.” Babatunde Olatunyi
Some good reads (even if i do say so myself!)
The most important one being: The Story behind the blog
I learnt a valuable lesson today
I am a human pin cushion (It’s a video! Go on you know you want to watch it!)
Life’s a bitch, and then you find out your infertile
oh and The Top Ten are always good for a giggle (i especally like the first one i wrote)
