Limbo Land Day Fifteen
Have you ever looked at yourself and hated what you looked like, hated how you feel, hated what you had become, just hated it? Have you ever felt so lost and confused, so up and down, so many emotions that it makes you so confused that you end up hating yourself?
Have you ever just wanted to curl up and cry, cry away your pain, cry till you couldnt cry anymore, cry and scream like no one was watching, cry until it was all ok, and you got what you wanted?
Have you ever woken up and not known who you are anymore, not known how you got to where you were and not know what you will do now? Woken up and felt like you should just go back to sleep, back to a blank screen, back to where everything is possible, and hope is never taken from you, where dreams are created, and where peace is guaranteed?
Have you ever wondered why this journey is such a roller coaster ride, why it couldnt have been easier, and why you were the once chosen to suffer from this kind of pain? Have you ever just looked out into the sky and wondered when it is exactly that you will get your hope back, when this part of the journey will be over, when this will stop, when you will just be able to forget your woes and smile just because the sky is blue?
Have you ever wondered why yesterday you were ok, and today you are not? Why yesterday you had the peace of mind that no matter the outcome you would be ok, but today you are scared, lost, and so confused you cant even get out of bed?
Have you ever just wanted to turn the switch off?
Have you ever just wanted nothing more than answers, hope in tomorrow, want to like who you are, wanted this pain to stop, and wanted your life to stop being in limbo land.
Have you ever just wanted one thing, one thing that is the thing you never expected that you would have to beg and plead for?
I just want peace and happiness, to have faith in tomorrow, and to know exactly where i stand in this world, so i can begin to find out who i am once more.
Peace is not something you wish for; It’s something you make, Something you do, Something you are, And something you give away. Robert Fulghum