Eight weeks Day 59 in the quest to chase our little miracle
What if?
I wish i could get all negatives out of my head, but there seems to be one little thought that is stuck right on in there...
What if?
I am working so hard against my fears and doubts, and i am praying each and everyday for george, but i get a cramp, or back pain, or just a feeling, and, well, my fears return.
I havent done this before, i dont know how i am meant to feel, and i dont know the difference between a good feeling and a bad feeling, i dont know how tired i am meant to be, how hungry i am meant to feel... It is leaving me quite confused!
But am i being paranoid?
I want to be happy... No, no I AM HAPPY, i am the happiest and most excited i have ever been, and i think the paranoia will ease in four weeks, when i get through what has seemingly been labeled the "danger period"
I think the worst thing for me is people saying "just wait until the 12 weeks" "just see what happens"
I dont understand that... I know i am paranoid, but i have right to be - it is my body doing weird things, other people they should just be happy, none of these doubts, or at least not out loud...
I dont know, maybe i am just being silly, maybe i am just tired, maybe this is normal....
All i know is i cant wait to hold my little george in my arms, and i know my husband feels the same, and we just want this to be the most perfect trouble free pregnancy....
A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on. William S. Burroughs
