Nine weeks. Day 65 in the quest to chase our little miracle
You would think that once you are pregnant the anxiety goes away, wouldnt you?
You would think that by now i would be certain that things are ok, that everything is progressing as it should be, and you would think by now that i could just go with the flow and know in my heart that this is meant to be and will be…
You would think.
But, in my case, nope….
Some days are better than others, but today i am not nauseous, and instead of celebrating and enjoying the moment, i am worried. I shouldnt be worried, i am quite sure this is normal, but there is that tiny incy wincy voice that always says “what if”…
99.9% of the time i am able to stop the fear, pray it away, feel fine in the knowledge that God has given my a miracle, and will look after me and George… but you know… just that 0.1% niggles away…
I hope it gets easier, i hope that i will be able to put my fears aside… But am i holding out for something that may never come?
There are so many emotions that i am feeling today, and another little part of me wonders if that is just the hormones playing tricks on me….
Is this the way it is for everyone? Or for first timers at least? And will i find peace shortly?
We seek peace, knowing that peace is the climate of freedom. Dwight D. Eisenhower
