Sixteen Weeks, three days. Day 117 in the quest to chase our little miracle
Exhaustion overcomes me, and my emotions overwhelm me, i cant think, i dont think, i am just reacting....
I have made so many mistakes this week, hurt people i dont want to hurt, and why? becuase i am not in control, because no matter how hard i try my reactions are just over emotional.
I wish i could explain to people just how not in control i am, no matter what i do i am overreacting, and no matter how much i know i am doing it i cant stop it.
It is different to the kind if emotional i have felt before, it is the kind of emotional that makes me just want to curl up and sleep, curl up and dream of my future to come, curl up and pray that my miracle is ok, that my miracle will survive the distance.
This week i have been hurt, i have been angry, i have been scared, and of course i have been happy, but i have let these emotions out when i should have kept them in, i have let them out and hurt people because i should have left them in.
How can i stop this, how can i let my emotions go, just accept and move on, just live with the way things are, and the way things should be, accept change, accept my future no matter what it brings?
Exhaustion, i can barley keep my eyes open, and maybe that is where the emotions stem from?
I hope tomorrow brings a calmer day, i pray tomorrow brings security and peace within.
I hope tomorrow brings forgivness for the hurt i accidentaly caused.
I hope tomorrow i can be the person i know i am, emotions kept in check.
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein
