Eighteen Weeks. Three Days. Day 130 in the quest to meet our little miracle George
I freaked out yesterday.
I was tired, i worked too hard on wednesday, i did too much, and yesterday morning i freaked out.
I felt sick, i had cramps, and i just didnt know what to do, or who to turn to, or what would ease my mind – if anything. I never really felt like that before, so confused and scared, so tired i couldnt think straight…
So i walked out of the office across the road, and asked for an appointment at the doctors.
They gave me one. Just like that i got into see a doctor. I explained, the doctor listened, there was nothing very specific about my ‘cramps’ and unwell feeling, so the doctor got out this old school fetal heart monitor, got out the good ol KY jelly, and counted the beats….
The old doc didnt say much, just that the heart was beating well, and everything seemed ok.
I think just hearing george’s heart was enough to ease my mind, enough to take any fears and doubts away, enough for me to know that my precious little miracle was alive and well…
Sometimes its hard, sometimes it all seems too much, and it seems of late that a lot more than sometimes i am scared.
I hope the scared passes, i hope i can enjoy this time a little more, i hope that soon, the overwhelming feelings subside and happiness takes over.
Courage is doing what you’re afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you’re scared. Edward Vernon Rickenbacker
