Thirty Four Weeks.  Four Days. 38 Days to go…

So many times people come into our lives and change us in some way and then leave.

I often wonder about friends past, wonder about where they are or what they are doing or sometimes even what our lives would be like if they were still apart of them.

Think about it… Primary school – who was your best friend?  High School – someone different again?  What about college? Then your first job…. All those people coming and going in and out of our lives, what happened to them?

People change, and i think that is the important thing to remember, that each year of our lives we are experiencing something different which means that the people we need close to us needs to change.  But what is it about our lives that makes that happen?  Why is it that we have people in our lives for just a ‘section’ and then they leave again?

And i guess in saying that everyone is different, some people have friends that they have known for most of their lives… But others like me, dont – we have people that we have known for just those ‘sections’.

I dont feel like i am missing out, the friends i have, especially at the moment are so dear to me it brings tears to my eyes when i think about it… But sometimes i worry that they wont be there, simply because it seems that for every changing season of my life, i loose someone – and as it stands right now, the friends i have – i really dont want to loose.

Then again, maybe as we get older and our friends enter the same stages of life as us we are able to hold on for longer simply for the reason that we are experiencing the same things at the same time.  And that statement in itself makes me feel more confident as i know that my closest friends – the ones i love so much – are going through the same stage of life as me.

But it still doesnt change the fact that somedays i sit here and wonder about the people who were once part of my life…

Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

Thirty Four Weeks.  Three Days. 39 Days to go…

Today was what i think to be my 12th scan of this pregnancy, and dont get me wrong – I LOVE THEM, the constant reassurance that everything is ok, and that things are running as they should be – priceless….

But the thought has crossed my mind, and the mind of others i know, that maybe all this modern technology is making us more paranoid then we should be?

Let me just put this out there:: What did they do before ultra sounds? How did they know if the baby wasnt growing as it should be?

How did they know if the placenta was anterior?  Or if the blood flow isnt as it should be?  And i know that they do the press and feely thing, but how do they know what sort of breech position the baby was in? And in saying all that, if they didnt know, then they wouldnt have done anything about it right?

C Sections wouldnt have come about – right?  Not that i have ANY objection to a C section… I dont care either way as long as the baby comes out safe… But is there a higher survival rate these days?

Do babies have a better chance because of modern technology?  Or is all this technology just making us more paranoid then we should be?

I tend to think that the scans reassure me personally, seeing my little baby in there growing – like i said – priceless….

But would i have even needed reassuring in the first place, if the sonographer hadnt flagged warning bells and requested the doctor all those weeks ago? Personally i think i would, i am a bit of a paranoid freak after all the stuff we have been through…

But it really is something to ponder on isnt it?

Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday. Author Unknown

Thirty Four Weeks. Two Days. 40 Days to go…

Now i am not normally the type to get so carried away in jokes, but this one came past me today and honestly i let out the biggest giggle you have ever heard… And i thought that it was too good to pass up!

Making A Baby

The Patels were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Patel kissed his wife goodbye and said, ‘Well, I’m off now. The man should be here soon.’

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. ‘Good morning, Ma’am’, he said, ‘I’ve come to….’

‘Oh, no need to explain,’ Mrs. Patel cut in, embarrassed, ‘I’ve been expecting you.’

‘Have you really?’ said the photographer.. ‘Well, that’s good. Did you know babies are my specialty?’

‘Well that’s what my husband and I had hoped Please come in and have a seat !.

After a moment she asked, blushing, ‘Well, where do we start?’

‘Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.’

‘Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work out for Harry and me!’

‘Well, Ma’am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time.. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.’

‘My, that’s a lot!’, gasped Mrs. Patel.

‘Ma’am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be In and out in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.’

‘Don’t I know it,’ said Mrs. Patel quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. ‘This was done on the top of a bus,’ he said.

‘Oh, my God!’ Mrs. Patel exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

‘And these twins turned out exceptionally well – when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.’

‘She was difficult?’ asked Mrs. Patel.

‘Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look’

‘Four and five deep?’ said Mrs. Patel, her eyes wide with amazement.

‘Yes’, the photographer replied. ‘And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling – I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.’

Mrs. Patel leaned forward. ‘Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh…equipment?’

‘It’s true, Ma’am, yes…. Well, if you’re ready, I’ll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.’

‘Tripod?’

‘Oh yes, Ma’am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.. It’s much too big to be held in the hand very long.’

Mrs. Patel fainted

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it. Bill Cosby

Thirty Four Weeks. 42 Days to go…

There are many people in this world that i couldnt live without, many people who are part of my life that i simply would not know what to do with myself if i didnt have them around, if they wernt there to talk to when i needed them.

There are many people in my life that have helped make me who i am today, been there for me when i needed them most of all , and there are many people who have touched me and guided me in ways that i may never be able to repay.

But i have to say that there is only one person in my world who i truly will never be able to thank enough, one person who when i say i couldnt live without i mean it with every ounce of my very being… There is but one person in my life who i know will come to my rescue when everyone else has given up on me, and there is one person who i know that even if i betrayed or let down in the worst possible way would be there for me in my darkest hour…

One person who i know no matter what will always be my rock.

My sister.

For the past 28 years my sister has been there for me no matter what.

When i cried in my crib it was my sister who played spider man and climbed into my cot to keep me company…

On my first day of school, she held my hand as we walked through the gates together.

As we travelled the world with our parents, it was my sister who had the patience to explain the sites in kid lingo to me.

When i was scared at night, it was my sister who came into my bed and made sure i was ok.

When my mother sat us on her lap and told us she had cancer, it was my sister who squeezed my hand and told me it would be ok.

When we were left at our gandparents house while our mother went into another operation, it was my sister who kept me company, and waited paitently with me.

As we drove to the hospital the day my mother died, it was my sister who pointed out the double rainbow to me, and told me that my mother was watching over us now.

My first kiss, my high school graduation, my first job, my wedding…. She was there for me, when i needed somone, i had my sister – always.

And last year, when i needed someone most of all, when everything was against me, when i wanted to give up, when i wanted to kill myself, when i thought i had nothing, when i hated my husband and everything in my life…

I had my sister.

and when i have this precious miracle of mine, when i am scared and dont know who to turn to, i will have my sister.  When i go into labor and my husband faints, i will have my sister… When i dont know how to feed, when it all gets to much, i know i will have my sister

She was there for me through it all, and she will be there for me through what is yet to come – no matter what…  And i honestly dont think i could have done it or will be able to do it without her.

And i know that no matter what i do it will never be enough to thank her, and i know that no matter how many words i write it will never be enough to let her to know just how much she means to me, and just how much having her in my life really matters…

So today Mrs Angell, on your 30th Birthday i simply say…

To my dearest sister,

Thank you.

Love from a sister that will never be able to find enough of the right words to ever thank you for all that you have been for her.

Please help me to thank my beautiful sister by RT this post, and wishing @MrsAngell a wonderful 30th Birthday!

We love you lady! (More than you’ll ever know…)

A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost. Anon

Thirty Three Weeks.  Five Days. 44 Days to go…

Why is it that when you relay information, especially when babies and the possibility that an old wife’s tale may be able to be involved, people just shut their ears and refuse to listen?

I love my family and friends, dont get me wrong… I love the fact that they have hope, and i love the faith that they have in their theories and their stories and experiences from this friend or another… But sometimes i just want to tell my story and have people believe what i am saying.  Sometimes i dont want to have to delve deep into my limited relayed medical knowledge, sometimes i just want to accept what the medical professionals have said and have people believe what i am am saying – because honestly, am i going to make this stuff up? Am i plucking this info from my rear end?

It seems that the more people i tell about my breech baby and the reality that i more than likely will be having a c section, the more people i relay the information that was passed onto me by my doctor on friday, the more people seem to want to ‘reassure’ me that ‘there is still time’ or that there are methods of madness to turn the baby…  That joes friends aunts cousin from down the ways baby didnt turn until 3 days before delivery…

Thats nice!

But i am telling you that MY doctor – you know the one that has seen me throgh this whole pregnancy, the one that has watched over me as we found out the baby was small, the one that has performed ultra sounds and has written reports for the past 9 months… You know that doctor? Well she is saying that it isnt likely that the baby will turn, she is saying that there isnt enough room, she is saying that they may reccomend the c section….

And i might just add…. This is a public system, they dont just OFFER you a c section, they dont just offer to give you major surgury unless it is in the best interest of you and the baby… And no i am not just making this stuff up!

I think it annoys me mostly becuase i need to accept that i am having a c section, i have to get my head around the fact that i cant have a natural birth, i need to be calm and accepting and not try and find false hope…. And when people are telling me otherwise, when i have to explain that the doctor has told me there isnt enough room in there for goeroge to do a complete back flip, over and over and over again… I kinda get frustrated…

It is almost like when we were going through IVF people always had their thories, and their old wives tales, and their stories of joes friends aunts cousin from down the way…. Its just so frustrating that no matter what you say, no matter what you do… No one will believe you.

I understand, i really do… They are just trying to help.  But yesterday as i began explaining, my mind wondered back to a year ago through our infertile days, through our IVF experinece, and i couldnt help but feel helpless…

I know everything is going to be ok.  I know that God has his plan and i accept what is to be… And if that means a c section, then so be it… If it is Gods plan for Georgie to do a massively impossible back flip in my little belly, then it will be…. Through all that we have been through, through the ups and downs, through the past year, i have learned so much and that has strengthened my faith and hope in my future enough for me to say confidently today that i trust what will be.  I accept whatever is to be thrown my way, just as much as i openly accept what the medical professionals are telling me…. More than your silly stories and old wives tales at least!

All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is to – act as if it were impossible to fail. Dorothea Brande

Thirty Three Weeks.  Four Days. 45 Days to go…

You know the day you have been waiting for, the day you thought would never arrive, the day you thought you may never have?

That day for me was today.

I never knew just how much this ment to me, and i never expected to feel so much emotion from somthing as simple as a baby shower.  But i did.  Today has to be put down as one of the best days of my life.  I felt so loved, i felt so much love for a child that is yet to be born, so much love from other people for a child who is so desperatly wanted and cherished already.

Yes i invited as many people as i could, and yes i knew that some would show and some wouldnt, but today i was so overwhelmed that so many people came to show their love and ‘shower’ my new little family with so much love it isnt funny!

My george and i are already so spoiled!

I realised today just how blessed i am to have so many caring and loving people in my life… I would never have been able to go through everything i did without these people.  And i know that through it all each and everyone has played such an important in my georges life…

We really and truly are blessed – there is no other way to put it.  And as i go to bed tonight with my husband by my side my baby in my belly i know that nothing in my life right now could be more perfect.  It is how i always dreamed it to be.

And once again i say…. I am happy.

I truly am happy.

 It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.  Dale Carnegie