Thirty -One Weeks. Day 219 in the quest to meet our little miracle George, 63 days to go…
Today i am tired, tired scared and confused.
I have a cold, a runny nose, something that is stopping me from sleeping. I havent slept in two days and because of that i am scared and confused.
Everything is worse than what it is, the smallest thoughts have been turned into nightmares, and if you mix a little tired with a lot hormonal – it is enough to turn a sane woman insane, it has turned this sane woman insane.
I am counting kicks. I am counting kicks becuase i am scared and confused, because i dont know what is normal and i dont know what is ok and what is not anymore. I dont know what is what anymore, and even when i count the kicks i wonder if the kicks are enough, is the qty is ok….
I need to rest, to sleep but i want to count kicks, because i am scared… I am driving myself insane with whether this will be ok or not, and i am sending myself crazy even though i know i just need to sleep….
I hate today.
I hope tomorrow will be better.
Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today. Thich Nhat Hanh
