Thirty Three Weeks. 49 Days to go…
Plain and simply this is hard.
Harder than i thought it would be.
Today i went back to work. I thought it would be a good distraction, and i thought that it would ease my mind to know that i was being productive….
But today was hard.
I am scared… Well maybe not so much as scared but worried. I am worried that i am going to miss the signs, that i am not going to be in the right place at the right time… Worried that i diagnose my back pain as back pain rather than labor, worried that if something happens i will not be prepared…
I am sitting here worried that i have got everything wrong, that i cant do this, that i am once again going to stuff up…
I guess i am just second guessing myself, my faith and my instincts… I dont want to, but reality has hit and i am.
Maybe it will be better tomorrow. Maybe i wont have back pain tomorrow, maybe i will feel more comfortable, maybe if i can just get through today, tomorrow it will be better.
Maybe it wont.
I dont know…. I just dont know up from down, left from right anymore… Plain and simply, i am confused about everything, and just want the next 7 weeks to pass and to have my little miracle in my arms safe and sound…
Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you. Roger Ebert
