Thirty Six Weeks. Four Days. 11 Sleeps to go…
They call it the Two Week Wait, and for those of you who have ever done anything to do with infertility treatments or even just ‘trying’ to fall pregnant will know just what that agonizing two weeks brings.
Sleepless nights contemplating the meaning of life, heartache, tears, happiness, excitement – all kinds of emotions all rolled into one.
What was to be my final agonizing two week wait began.
If only i had known. I remember writing a post thinking it would all be ok, that i could handle it all a lot better if i only knew what was to be in my future… I remember thinking if only i knew when i was going to fall pregnant, if only i knew when i was going to have a baby – i would be ok… I could go through with the pain…. I remember thinking that in January as well, as i waited patiently through my torturers 20 days of limbo land... If only i HAD known…
I look back now, and think, if i had known… Would it mean as much as it does to me know? If i had known that August 2010 i would be the happiest woman on this planet… Would i have have treasured as many moments? Would it still mean the same as it does to me now?
Maybe the torturous two week wait makes this what it is…
And maybe my final two week wait of sleepless nights, tossing and turning, of constantly worrying, of wondering and pondering, of reminiscing on what has brought me to this point…
Maybe just maybe that too will make me more of a mother, appreciate the first touch just that little bit more, give me something in two weeks that i dont know that i need now…
Maybe just maybe waiting makes things what they are, maybe it is Gods way of making us appreciate the small things in life… Maybe…
Or maybe it really is just torture…
Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. Carl Sagan
