Thirty Seven Weeks. Six Days. 2 Sleeps to go…
This may be normal, this may be insane, but of late i have found myself in my miracles room, sitting and pondering…
I sit there and wonder what my child will look like, i wonder how he or she will grow, and i wonder about all the time i will spend in this room – worrying, rocking, crying, smiling, laughing, singing, reading, pacing… I wonder and i ponder and i smile to myself…
I am not sure what to expect, i am not sure how much instincts take over, how much should be read and discovered or how much we learn on our own… But i do know that as i sit and ponder in my miracles room, i know that i am ready for this adventure, ready to be a mom.
I hope that the time doesnt fly by, and i hope that i can be there full time for my child as long as possible. I want to learn to be the mom i never had, and be the mom i know i can be… I want nothing more than to give the child of mine memories to cherish, just as i cherish my own memories with my mom…
It is hard to imagine, even with all that is in this room, that this is real, that this is really happening… Sometimes as i sit and ponder, i have to really make myself believe that i have a baby inside of me, a child just waiting to be meet.
Some days it feels like i am dreaming, like this couldnt be real, and some days even still it feels like it may be taken from me, that it really is too good to be true.
The fears i have, the overwhelming feelings i have been getting, as i sit here and ponder, slowly dissipate, and as i hand my concerns to God, i realise that nothing but my new family matters, that my child will always know her mom, and that my child will always love and respect her father and her mother, and love her half brother – just as much as we love our george…
Let your heart see what your eyes cannot. Anon
