Day 33 in my miracles life
Have you ever thought as you left the house ‘yup, i look ok, yup not too bad’… As i ventured out of the house last week in what had become one of the only ‘outfits’ that actually fit my obscurely shaped post baby body, i thought yup this is ok not wonderful but ok, and it was that day that i got one of the most disheartening comments of my life…
Someone told me that i had the ‘new mother look’
My puzzled face was enough for that person to explain to me that in fact my cargo pant, t-shirt & sneaker ‘look’ was all i would ever wear again….
Why you ask? Well it seems that i will apparently never have time to make myself look good, let alone feel good again – according to this person.
To be honest the comment not only made me feel like a spec of dirt under someones nail, but it hurt me too, took away what little confidence i had left in my self image.
You see like many others in this world – i am conscious of my image, before i feel pregnant, before having children was even an idea – i loved to be active and i loved to eat for my body, i worked hard to get to a weight i was happy with, and a weight that when i looked at my wardrobe, when i got ready for a day out – i felt good.
But now, now i see nothing that i like, and i know that isnt fair, i know that i have just had a baby and that it takes time, but my confidence is so thin i wont even let my husband see me, i shut the bathroom door now… & all i really want is to feel good again, and comments like that, comments that make me feel like i will never be ‘able’ to feel good again, comments that indicate because you are a mother you are sentenced to a baby belly and cargo pants for eternity, really hurts.
And it makes me wonder, why people who know that you have just had a child, why people who should be trying to make you feel better, why people who could say something different – dont, they say the first thing that comes to their mind – the one thing that makes you feel… Well, worse than you already feel.
And i know this isnt unique to me or to my situation, i know that it has happened to people i love, happened to strangers right in front of me, happened to people who were simply minding their own business – loved ones, friends, or strangers making comments that just dishearten us and put us down. All i can think is what is wrong with society that they must point out our flaws? Point out the things that just make us feel like less of a woman? Point out the things that we so clearly know are wrong with us, and that we so clearly understand we need to work on….
Why when we dont even ask, do people feel the need to tell us ‘Your bum looks big in that’?
