2011 June

Someone Elses’ Nose

June 30, 2011 0 Comments

Day 309 in my miracles life

I wonder if my mother was still alive if more people would say it? And it makes me wonder if it would be something that were easier to believe if she were alive, or if it is just one of those things that people sometimes say because they want to believe it?

The other day my father said my daughter looks like my mother…

I was sitting here a moment ago looking at a photo of my mum and me, and i wonder if she does, i wonder if she looks like me, i wonder why all the time people tell me she looks like everyone else but us, her mother and father.

Does she not have my eyes? Does she not have my nose? Does she not have my husbands face? Why is it that it is always someone elses face, someone elses nose, someone elses features but the two people she should resemble most of all?

And of all the mixed feelings i have about my daughter looking like someone else, how come it matters?

It makes no sense, my emotions are scrambled… But i wonder… Does she look us?

Jennifer, Cheryl, Janny

Cheryl (not sure how old) Jennifer 10 months

Jennifer, Jay, Mark

I have a sneaky suspicion that she will look more like ‘the boys’… I already tell her father that i cant stay mad at him anymore because she reminds me of him

Filed Under: My Miracles Life Begins, Nine to Twelve Months

As The Weeks Go By… 44 Weeks

June 29, 2011 0 Comments

Day 308 in my miracles life

You Are The Sunshine Of My Life , That’s Why I’ll Always Stay Around , You Are The Apple Of My Eye, Forever You’ll Stay In My Heart… Stevie Wonder

Filed Under: As The Weeks Go By..., My Miracles Life Begins, Nine to Twelve Months, Wordless Wednesday

When does wanting more become selfish?

June 28, 2011 0 Comments

Day 307 in my miracles life

Have you ever just felt so unsure, just so lost in routine you know what comes next, but your not sure why? Have you ever had all these plans to do what you want, to be who you want to be, to let yourself dream, only to realise that the things that you really want – really dont matter?

I know you have, because i have time and time again, and i want to know now why is it so, why do we dream of things we cant have, why do we constantly want more than what we have, why does routine mean that we are unsure of what we want? And when is wanting more selfish?

I have faced everything, i have been through more than my share of torment, but i came through it, and yet when i think about what i want in life i still want more… I have everything i need, but i want more – and i want to know if wanting more means i am selfish?

Have you ever sat down dreamed of a tomorrow where you have everything your heart desires, but then reaslied it doesnt matter, that none of it matters?

I know you have, because i have time and time again.

I know in my heart that the things i desire dont matter, i know that what i want are merely things in life, i know that i honestly have everything in my life i once thought was enough, but lately i have been wanting more…

More from myself as a mother, more from myself as a lover, more from myself as a woman in the work force, more from myself physically and emotionally, i want more from myself, i want to do things that maybe i shouldnt be wanting to do, i want a bigger house, i dream of a life on the coast, i dream of doing things that will make my georges life better, and yet shouldnt i just be happy with what we have, with the life we have been looking forward to for so long, simply just to be happy that i am a mother, that i am a wife, that i am healthy, that my family is happy and healthy… Shouldnt that be enough?

Have you ever just sat back and wondered when is enough, enough? Wondered when is it that you stop dreaming and start simply living and being grateful of what you have? Have you ever just wondered why we are all so selfish, why we all want everything all the time?

I know i have, and i wonder how i can fix that in myself?

You can’t get unless you give. And you have to give without wanting to get. Theodore H. White

Filed Under: Have you ever?, My Miracles Life Begins, Nine to Twelve Months

A Feast Fit for a King… To Finish something very sweet

June 27, 2011 0 Comments

Double yuummmm!

What could be more enticing after a big man meat pie than some super sweet sticky caramel slice? Upside down caramel slice of course! I always get annoyed at the chocolate on top of the caramel slice, but that is mostly because when you bite down the chocolate smooshes the caramel out and all over your hands or the plate if you are the more civilized kind…

Anywho, so i was thinking the other day just how to combat that and i came up with the idea for an upside down caramel slice, you know make the bottom chocolate and the top more biscuit like… So, how-do-you-do-that? I decided that chocolate pastry was the way to go, with a macadamia nut crumble on top of the caramel… I wondered it it would work, i wondered it it may be ‘too’ biscuity… But, would you believe that it worked, and i actually liked it better than the old style… Why? Simply because the pastry and crumble dulled down the sweetness of the caramel.

Upside Down Caramel Slice

Stuff you’ll need

Chocolate Pastry

250 grams of chilled cubed butter
2 cups plain flour
2/3 cup icing sugar
1/2 cup almond meal
1/2 cup coco powder
2 egg yolks

Caramel

1 tin of condenced milk
3 tablespoons golden syrup
30 grams butter

Crumble Topping

200 grams macadamia nuts – some chopped some left whole
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup flour
30 grams chilled cubed butter

How i did it

Firstly this is not a ‘quick’ slice to make, so ensure that you have pleanty of time up your sleeve before you go jumping on into it

Measure all the dry ingredient of the pastry into a large bowl, using the tips of your fingers or a pastry knife, work the butter into the flour until it resembles bread crumbs – now with pastry they say not to over work it, keep the butter cold – do that – i am not very good at it and it still tasted alright, but do make sure you dont overwork it… You could also use a blender and pulse the mixture – that would work, but i dont have a blender (hint hint, nudge nudge anyone?!) Once the butter is evenly mixed in, add the egg yolks and bring together to form a dough – again making sure you do not over work it. Form the dough into a disk, wrap in cling wrap, and place in the fridge for 30-40 minutes – go watch some tv, play with your baby… Chat to your husband…. etc etc etc

Grab your baking tin, i used a 20cm x 30cm size, cut a piece of baking paper that will fit in the tin,grease it and place the baking paper on the counter with the tin sitting behind it for size reference, also ensure your oven is on about 180 deg.

Get the pastry from the fridge and a rolling pin. Flour your pin, unwrap the pastry and place onto the baking paper, roll the pastry out, keeping it on the baking paper so that when you place it in the tin it will fit. Once the dough fits nicely on the baking paper – it should be about 3-4mm thick at this point – grab the edges of the paper and carefully place the dough into the baking tin. Place the tin and dough into the fridge for a further 20 minutes to chill back down.

While the dough is chilling, in a large bowl place the macadamia nuts, flour, brown sugar and rub the cubed butter into the dry ingredient making a crumble topping.

Remove the chilled pastry from the fridge and cover with a sheet a baking paper, on the baking paper crumble the macadamia mixture… Basically we are using the crumble mix to blind bake the pastry – if that makes sense?

Place in the oven for around 20 minutes, check in on 10 and make sure the crumble and the pastry is not burning, in my oven i have to turn things, so it was at this point that i turned the tin around. After 20 minutes remove the crumbles from the top of the psatry and place on a separate shelf in the oven, you may have to turn some of the crumble bits and nuts upside down to ensure they get cooked through. Keep in the oven for a further 5 minutes.

Once both the crumble and pastry are golden brown and not burned, remove from the oven and allow to cool.

While cooling, you can make the caramel… But remember caramel needs 100% of your attention for about 1/2 an hour – so make sure you have no distractions in place or the caramel WILL BURN!

Place all the caramel ingredient into a saucepan on LOW heat and stir, stir until your arm feels like it is going to fall off, stir, stir, stir stir stir some more, and keep stirring … UNTIL the caramel darkens and coats the back of a spoon when cooled. Now if you have never made caramel before (which if you havent – YOU ARE INSANE!) dont go sticking your fingers in it, or thinking that you can just taste a little on your tongue… You cant, cause its hot – so super hot that you will burn your tongue, and the roof of your mouth… Trust me, cause ive done it, and it hurt, A LOT!

Right now, your pastry is ready and cooled, your caramel hot and ready, and the crumble cooled – time to put it all together

Pour the caramel into the pastry shell, then crumble the macadamia crumble over the top… Then place in the fridge for a couple of hours to set… NO EATING UNTIL IT IS SET! Other wise you will have runny caramel everywhere! (i know, cause ive done it before LOL)

Once the caramel is set, cut into pieces, and enjoy… No really, enjoy, cause this one is so super nummy that this will happen….On NUMEROUS occasions…. (& you will have to go to the gym… On NUMEROUS occasions, just to work it off!)

Filed Under: Cooking, My Miracles Life Begins, Nine to Twelve Months, Sweet

1 to 21 in 2.5

June 26, 2011 0 Comments

Day 305 in my miracles life

No matter how many times you run it, it is still a long way.

And i am only talking about 13km! Who knows how far 21 km is going to feel!

I am almost nervous about next weekend, excited, anxious and just a squiggy bit nervous about the distance. I know it is mind over matter, and that it has been a long time coming… but SQUEEEE… Its almost here!

In approximately 168.5 hours it will be over, done… The whole year of training for a race, doneskies… WOW – its gone way to quickly…

And to get us all through the week here is a sneak peek image of a little surprise i have in stall for the big run

Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal. Pamela Vaull Starr

Filed Under: 1. Run a 1/2 marathon, 21 in 2.5, 30 before 30, I am a Runner, My Miracles Life Begins, Nine to Twelve Months, Weight Loss

A Feast Fit for a King… To start with savory

June 25, 2011 0 Comments

Yummmmmmm

We are aussie, and what could be more aussie than a meat pie? A BIG MAN Meat Pie, that is what! 1kg of beef, 500 grams of mushrooms, tomato sauce, more salt than you know what to do with – good lord we are all going to have a heart attack! Lucky i dont do this often that is for sure (especially seeing i have prepared sweets as well, and we thought this was going to give us a heart attack!)

Big Man Pie

Stuff you’ll need for your heart attack

1kg chuck steak cut into 1cm cubes
3 onions
5-6 cloves of garlic
500ml beef stock (if your not keen on too salty – and next time i think i will reduce the beef stock qty, go for 250 ml + 250 ml water
500 grams chopped mushrooms
3/4 cup tomato sauce
1/4 cup bbq sauce
1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon vegimite
1 tablespoon sugar (or fake sugar)
mixed herbs
pepper

5 sheets of ready made puff pastry

3 cups peas
Fresh mint chopped, or prepackaged mint
Knob of butter

How i did it (gave us all heart attacks that is)

Mommy why are you cooking at 8am?

First peel and dice the onions and garlic, then dice the chuck steak if not already diced. Heat a little oil in a pan and fry off the onion and garlic. While the onion and garlic is frying coat the beef in seasoned flour. Once the onion and garlic is nicly sauteed and somewhat clear, place in a slow cooker (or crock pot if you fancy). Next seal / fry off the beef in some oil, remember to do it in batches so as it doesnt stew in the pan. Place into the slow cooker as you go. Once all the beef is sealed and in the slow cooker , fry off the mushrooms, again in batches so they dont stew. Place into the slow cooker.

Once the mushrooms are out of the pan, place all the sauce ingredients including stock into the pan and scrape the bottom (apparently they tell me that this is where the flavor is) heat the sauce to a bubble then pour into the slow cooker and add the herbs.

Put the slow cooker on high, covered for an hour or two, then uncovered for the sauce to thicken and reduce, i had the cooker on for a total of nine hours, so uncovered for seven hours. I added more herbs and a little fake sugar at hour 6 as i found the sauce very salty. I know next time i would only use half the stock and replace with water – but my husband (king for the night) assured me that the beef was fantastic and the flavor was just right, not too salty (but then again i think he has lost his salty taste buds)

Right, now that the beef is done, grease and line a spring form baking tin, then arrange four of the sheets of puffy pastry into the tin. Now i use store bought because it is easy and what my husband likes, if you like shortcrust then go for it! I think the traditional pie uses shortcrust on the base and puffy on the lid, so eh do what you please with the pastry! Blind bake the base for about umm maybe 20-30 minutes depending how thick the pastry was, i am sure you all know how to blind bake, so again ill leave that one up to you

Now we are cooking with gas! (not really thats a figure of speech) Right so once the pie crust is par cooked, place the beef mix into it and then the last sheet of pastry on top for the lid. Dont forget to cut a little steam hole in the top, and brush the top with an egg. Place it back in the oven for about 20 -30 minutes or until the top is cooked through.

While the pie is cooking place the two cups of peas on to boil / cook them in the microwave, which ever takes you fancy at the time. Once the peas are cooked, add a knob of butter and some mint or mint paste and roughly mash them.

Serve a lovely big piece of you man pie, with a lovely big scoop of minted pea mash….

Nomnomnom! Trust me, you and your man will be in winter pie heaven!

Filed Under: Cooking, My Miracles Life Begins, Nine to Twelve Months, Savory

In my Humble Opinion – You made me smile :o)

June 24, 2011 0 Comments

I am a true believer that happiness shared is happiness doubled, and i am completely honest with you when i say that there is one place i know i can go on the weekend, where no matter what, my happiness is always doubled simply by the fact that there are complete strangers out there who are willing to share in my happiness no matter how insignificant it may seem.

I love coffee, and if there is one thing about myself that anyone knows, it is just how much i love my weekend lattes – heaven help you if you are the one to deny me my saturday morning latte! But no matter the case there is one place where every saturday and sunday morning i will go out of my way to visit, simply because i just know that it will make my morning!

I am talking about my local coffee shop, Zarraffa’s Carseldine, and just how awesome the people that run it truly are.

It must have been nearly two years ago now when my husband first brought me the drink that i would instantly fall in love with, you see i have always been a coffee lover, one two three lattes a day – no worries bring them on, but on this day, on this magnificent day when i needed it most of all i was brought the drink that would redefine my love of a latte….

My husband brought home one massi, triple shot skinny latte – and from that day forth i was hooked… Nearly 600mls of beautifully ground, beautifully made coffee, not burnt, not over heated, creamy wile still using skinny milk… Perfect in every way…

I was hooked in an instant.

Later that day i went back with my husband for more, and too my surprise there behind the counter were three wonderful people who not only remembered my husband, but who were willing to stop and have a chat with us, who truly made my morning that morning, who still make my mornings each and every saturday and sunday.

Most of the places we visit, we stop by, most of the places we spend our money and our time, most places and staff i come across these days i have to say simply dont give a &%#$… We go in, we choose, we spend… We leave, courteousness is a must but friendliness rarely offered – except here, at my local coffee shop.

Each saturday no matter how busy, i am greeted with a smile, each saturday no matter how early, i am greeted by my name, asked how i am, my stories remembered, my family asked how they are, my goals verified, my weight loss journey acknowledged, each saturday no matter what, my order is remembered, my mouth barley has time to move before there is a latte in my hand, each saturday i am spoken to with joy and smiles, i am welcomed into a family – even if just for one brief moment of my day… Each saturday morning no matter what i feel a sense of overwhelming happiness – all because of a visit to my coffee shop.

These days when my husband offers to get me a latte, i tell him to wait for me simply because i want to go and see the smiling faces behind the counter, simply because i know even if i am in the most foul mood, even if i am looking my worst, feeling my worst – i will feel better because i have visited my friends at my local coffee shop Zarraffa’s Carseldine.

To Candice, Ralph & Denise, thank you for making my saturday mornings what they are, for always having a smile, for always caring, and for ALWAYS making the best coffee, i swear on my life if i ever move, i will be driving to carseldine just to see your beautiful faces each and every weekend

Thank you.

Filed Under: In my Humble Opinion, My Miracles Life Begins, Nine to Twelve Months, Those who have made me smile

As The Weeks Go By… 43 Weeks

June 22, 2011 0 Comments

Day 301 in my miracles life

Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops… at all. Emily Dickinson

Filed Under: As The Weeks Go By..., My Miracles Life Begins, Nine to Twelve Months, Wordless Wednesday

Something Different for lunch

June 21, 2011 0 Comments

While i love my usual frittata for lunch, which i MUST find time to post soon, i decided this week to have / try something a little different. So this week i attempted a meat loaf. Sounds easy enough i guess, however when you only have 100grams of chicken per serve, and little carbs – how do you do it? And plus the ‘standard’ meat load recipes arnt really that good for you, fatty mince, bread crumbs, tomato & bbq sauces….

So i have come up with the following, it actually worked quite well and tasted awesome with my vegetable sauce!

Vegetable Mediterranean style Meat Loaf

Stuff You’ll Need

2 Zucchini
500grams mushrooms
500grams chicken breast
Onion & Garlic
Greek seasoning
1/4 Cabbage
1 Red Capsicum
Olives
Spinach Leaves
2 eggs

How I did it

First chop the mushrooms in the blender, salt and place in a clean chux or paper towel and into the fridge for a 1/2 hour. Grate the zucchni and do the same as with the mushrooms, this will remove any excess moisture within them and ensure that the mixture isnt watery and doesnt fall apart.

Pre heat the oven to 180 degrees Celsius, and grease a loaf tin.

Remove the mushrooms and zucchini from the fridge and with the pieces still in the chux, squeeze as much juice as you can from the mushrooms and zucchini and place in a large bowl. In the blender mince the chicken onion and garlic, place in the bowl with the mushrooms and zucchini. Chop the cabbage and place in the blender and chop as well, once again adding to the large bowl with the other ingredients. Add in the Greek Seasoning and eggs, and using your hands bring the mixture together. Remove a handful or two of the mixture and place in a smaller bowl. Firmly place the larger qty of the mixture into the loaf tin and set aside.

Cut the capsicum and olives into same size peices, wash and roughly chop the spinich leaves. Place into the smaller bowl with the remaining handfuls of the meat loaf mixture and bring it together using your hands. Firmly pack on top of the other loaf mixture in the loaf tin.

Place in the oven for approximately 1.5 – 2 hours. I knew it was cooked when no more liquids came out of the top / stopped bubbling.

This is 4 – 5 serves, i ate it for lunch & definitely did not need anything else on the side!

Filed Under: Cooking, Everyday Foods, My Miracles Life Begins, Nine to Twelve Months, Weight Loss

The thing that got me though the day

June 20, 2011 0 Comments

Day 299 in my miracles life

Today the tests that i went through, were just aweful, but as i lay on the table being scanned, having dye injected where dye and fluid honestly shouldnt be injected, as i lay there remembering all the horrible tests i was enduring just two years ago, as the tears began welling up in my eyes, the nurse said something that simply took my mind from the reality i was living.

Just think of that beautiful little girl waiting for you out there…

So i did…. I let myself simply think of my miracle, of the precious little girl waiting for me in the waiting room with her father, and in an instant it was over, my mind was clear from the turmoil and depression i suffered from over the weekend.

All because of her.

I dont know where the time went, i dont know how she grew up so quickly, but i know that when i am on the kitchen floor crying my eyes out, when i am laying on a hospital testing bed with a machine circling me with dye being shot up inside of me, when i need a happy place to escape to, she is it…

She is my reason for living, she is my life, she is my all, i love her more than i knew i ever could…. I love her with a love i never knew existed…

Filed Under: My Miracles Life Begins, Nine to Twelve Months, Video's