Day 307 in my miracles life
Have you ever just felt so unsure, just so lost in routine you know what comes next, but your not sure why? Have you ever had all these plans to do what you want, to be who you want to be, to let yourself dream, only to realise that the things that you really want – really dont matter?
I know you have, because i have time and time again, and i want to know now why is it so, why do we dream of things we cant have, why do we constantly want more than what we have, why does routine mean that we are unsure of what we want? And when is wanting more selfish?
I have faced everything, i have been through more than my share of torment, but i came through it, and yet when i think about what i want in life i still want more… I have everything i need, but i want more – and i want to know if wanting more means i am selfish?
Have you ever sat down dreamed of a tomorrow where you have everything your heart desires, but then reaslied it doesnt matter, that none of it matters?
I know you have, because i have time and time again.
I know in my heart that the things i desire dont matter, i know that what i want are merely things in life, i know that i honestly have everything in my life i once thought was enough, but lately i have been wanting more…
More from myself as a mother, more from myself as a lover, more from myself as a woman in the work force, more from myself physically and emotionally, i want more from myself, i want to do things that maybe i shouldnt be wanting to do, i want a bigger house, i dream of a life on the coast, i dream of doing things that will make my georges life better, and yet shouldnt i just be happy with what we have, with the life we have been looking forward to for so long, simply just to be happy that i am a mother, that i am a wife, that i am healthy, that my family is happy and healthy… Shouldnt that be enough?
Have you ever just sat back and wondered when is enough, enough? Wondered when is it that you stop dreaming and start simply living and being grateful of what you have? Have you ever just wondered why we are all so selfish, why we all want everything all the time?
I know i have, and i wonder how i can fix that in myself?
You can’t get unless you give. And you have to give without wanting to get. Theodore H. White
