2011 July

1. First One off The Blocks…

July 10, 2011 0 Comments

It has begun, the countdown to 30 has started, the list is finished & i have officially begun bugging people to let me know what i can cook for them

Yesterday i had the pleasure of heading out with my beautiful sister in law and family to ikea for a bit of baby shopping, yes, yes i am proud to say that i am gong to be an aunt again! SQUEEE, babies are so much fun! And when we returned i gotto baking, oh how i love a grand bake off… *giggles to herself* & of course eating the cake (shhh i ate two pieces)…

Being a coconut lover, my SIL choose from my long list of ‘want to try recipes’ the lovely looking Key Lime Coconut Cake that i found on Smitten Kitchen the other day, which i changed up a tiney winey little bit as all i had was a massive baking deep dish…

So here it is

Hayley’s Coconut Lime Cake

Stuff You’ll Need

2 cup shreded coconut
230g unsalted butter, softened
2 1/2 cups granulated sugar
Grated lime zest from 3 small limes
4 large eggs
3 1/2 cups self-rising flour
1 1/2 cup buttermilk
1/4 cup lime juice (i used bottled as it was cheaper than limes)

1/4 cup lime juice
2 cup confectioners sugar

How i did it

I basically did exactly what the original recipe called for…

Preheat oven to 180 deg Cel

with rack in middle. Generously butter an deep round cake pan and line bottom and sides with baking paper.

Toast coconut in a small baking pan in oven, stirring once or twice, until golden, 8 to 12 minutes. Cool. Leave oven on.

Beat together butter, granulated sugar, and zest with an electric mixer until fluffy. Beat in eggs one at a time. Stir together flour and 1.5 cup coconut (reserve remainder for topping). At low speed, mix flour mixture alternatively with milk and lime juice into egg mixture, beginning and ending with flour.

Spoon batter into pan and smooth top. Bake until golden and a wooden pick inserted into center comes out clean, 60 – 70 minutes. Cool to warm, then turn out of pan.

Whisk together confectioners sugar, remaining lime juice, and pour over cake. Sprinkle with remaining coconut, decorate with lime slices if you please…

EAT! Nomnomnom….

Filed Under: 2. Make 30 recipes chosen by 30 people, 30 before 30, Cooking, Sweet

The List – 30 before 30…

July 10, 2011 0 Comments

Can i do it?

~~Run a 1/2 marathon~~
Make 30 recipes chosen by other people (it could be one of yours! I will give you full credit & link to your site or twitter when i post the recipe up!)
Read a book. As sad as it sounds, or as awesome as it sounds depending on what sounds awesome, i havent read any book apart from Dr Seuss, Spot the dog, The hungry Catepillar etc for about 10 months & i think it is time that i read a good book – finding one on the other hand that i like… weeeeeellll i just dont know what i like anymore!
Write a book
5 selfless acts
Climb a mountain (suggestion:: here)
Decide what i want to be when i grow up & take a step toward it
~~Change my hair style~~
Host a 3 course dinner party – just cause
~~Another tattoo – something for george, dont know what, dont know where~~
Paint a picture
Stay under 60kg & less than 20% fat
~~Eat calamari for my husband, made by my husband~~
Go to my mothers grave and ‘fix’ it up so that it looks nice and not over grown as it does at the moment
Get my foul mouth in order / start a swear jar
Work on my patience and frustration levels
Go to church with george at least once a month
Make a new friend
Conquer a fear (hopefully of heights)
Conquer the Demons of my past / my depression
Work on loving my self image, so that george always knows just how beautiful she is & knows that it is not what is on the outside, but what is on the inside that counts
Read to george every day
Start up date night with my husband
Tell my husband i love him at least once a day
Teach george at least one sign / get started on baby signing
Run 300km’s over the next 16 months
~~Hold an amazing 1st party for george (not over the top, just plain amazing)~~
Find a mothers group
Get my eye sight retested
Make myself a GRAND cake for my birthday

Filed Under: 30 before 30

I am not allowed to feel this way.

July 9, 2011 0 Comments

Day 318 in my miracles life

I dont know why this is happening now.

I dont know why i feel this way, but all i keep thinking is that i am not allowed to feel like this and i dont know how to write in words just how i am feeling.

Most of the time i am happy, i can put on a smile and most of the time, most of the time i am alive and loving everything i have. But sometimes, when i am tired when i have done too much, when i am uber hungry, when ive had a bad day, or sometimes when i hear a sad song or get carried away in a movie, sometimes i wonder why me.

There is a part of me that feels so alone, there is a part of me that feels like no one could possibly understand, a part of me that feels so under appreciated, a part of me that cant stand the though that i have no one to talk to, a part of me that misses my mother so uncontrolably that if i dare to stop and think about it the pain just doesnt go away. There is a part of me that constantly asks ‘why me, why this, why did i have to be the one to sufer, why wasnt it easy for me’ and there is a part of me who hates who i am and wonders why i even bother.

I tell myself each day to be strong, and i tell myself each day now that i live for my girl, but sometimes in the dark of the morning, i just feel so alone and all i can manage to tell myself, is that i am not allowed to feel this way, that i have the world at my feet, i have everything a head of me, i have everything i ever wanted and needed.

How can i be so selfish? How can i let myself feel like this? How can i feel so alone so hopeless when i am suppose to be grateful? Why am i angry, why am i frustrated, why cant i just love who i am, why do i feel like this? Im not allowed, i am meant to be happy.

Its not fair to others who are far worse off than me that i feel this way.

I am not allowed to feel this way, i shouldnt feel this way.

But i do. And finally i have found the strength to admit defeat against my feelings.

I am seeking help, but it still doesnt change the fact that i am not allowed to feel this way.

Filed Under: 20. Conquer the Demons of my past, 30 before 30, My Miracles Life Begins, Nine to Twelve Months

As The Weeks Go By… 45 Weeks

July 6, 2011 0 Comments

Day 315 in my miracles life

Life becomes precious and more special to us when we look for the little everyday miracles and get excited about the privileges of simply being human

Filed Under: As The Weeks Go By..., My Miracles Life Begins, Nine to Twelve Months, Wordless Wednesday

A Step, by Geroge it was a step!

July 5, 2011 0 Comments

Day 314 in my miracles life

To my dearest little miracle,

It was a step! Today is the day you took your first step, and just so you know, i think i have to be the proudest happiest mum out there no matter how silly it seems.

I guess some part of me thought that first steps were a little more than just one step, i guess a little part of me had this comical idea that one day you would just get up and walk, but no matter what i thought it would be like, it didnt make it any less extraordinary, my heart overflowed with joy just as i expected it to.

If i had been at home i think i may have cried, or swept you up in joy and excitment, but situation had it that we were in the doctors office just haveing a chat about how beautiful you were, and just how quickly you were growing up, when all of a sudden you stood, balanced, and stepped…. Then plonk, back onto your bottom you fell. The doctor looked at me, i looked at her, we both looked at you and our doctor she says “her first step” and maybe i wouldnt have believed it if the doctor hadnt have said it out loud, but there you go my love…. You took your first step today, and while there may be no photo, no video, and while your dad missed out…. I have a witness and hopes that maybe tonight you will take another just for your daddy.

I love you, and each day no matter how crappy it is, you manage to make me smile, a step, a hug, a simply silly little look and you melt my heart, and make me realise that i have so much to look forward to in the months and years to come.

Love from a mother that is.

Filed Under: My Miracles Life Begins, Nine to Twelve Months, To my miracle

An Old Winter Favorite

July 5, 2011 0 Comments

Once again it may not be the most attractive meal but lately i have been all about quick and easy meals, with DH coming home later in the afternoons these days, and my choofing off to the gym the second he gets home, i have been searching for meals that i can prepare in the early afternoon and make ready for when i return home & have the baby tucked in.

One of my winter favorites has always been curried sausages, and diet or no diet, this one is not only easy to prepare, but if you dont want the potatoes on the side – just add more of your favorite green vegies!

Curry Sausages

Stuff you’ll need

2 sausages per person (i use kanga bangers – 98% fat free)
Cabbage
Carrot
Celery
Zucchini (another option)
Broccoli (another option)
Cauliflower (another option)
1/2 – 1 tbls curry powder
1 tbls Greens Gravy Granules
1/2 cup boling water
Chicken stock (or beef or vegetable)

How i did it

Preheat the oven to 180 deg cel. Chop all the vegies and place in an oven proof dish. Place the sausages in the oven proof dish with the vegies. Mix the curry powder with the gravy granules and pour boiling water over it, stir until the gravy granules disolve. Mix the sauce with about a cup of the stock and pour over the vegies, mix the sauce through. Cover the dish with alfoil and place in the oven for about an hour, stirring occasionally. If the sauce hasnt reduced enough in this time, uncover the dish and cook for a further 15 minutes, checking in and stirring it every 5 (just to make sure the tops of the vegies dont burn)

DONE.

ENJOY.

Filed Under: Cooking, Everyday Foods, My Miracles Life Begins, Nine to Twelve Months

0 to 21 in 2.5

July 3, 2011 0 Comments

Day 312 in my miracles life

WE DID IT! I dont have anything much else in me right now, but we made it, we kicked our goal by more than 10 minutes, with the unofficial time 2 hours 17 minutes. Pushed ourselves to the limit…

Number one on the 30 before 30 list done. DONE & DONE.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. CS Lewis

Filed Under: 1. Run a 1/2 marathon, 21 in 2.5, 30 before 30, I am a Runner

Dear Mr Time, Why did you make the time fly by?

July 2, 2011 0 Comments

Day 311 in my miracles life

It is 5am and i am lying in my bed wondering why i cannot sleep. I dont normally sleep too well but this morning i am anxious, something i have been working toward all year is TOMORROW!

Where did the time go? Why did you make it fly by so quickly?

I can remember the first time this idea popped into my head, to run the half marathon that is. It was Christmas time 2009 and i whole heartedly believed that i was going to fail my finally ivf, i truly believed that it wasnt going to be, so much so that i can remember snapping at my sister about the whole concept of running a half marathon.

We were walking looking at the christmas lights, my sister was about to pop, pregnant with her third child and i was getting more and more saddened by the fact that it may never be me, that this may be the end of a journey, the end of something that i wanted with every beat of my heart. I knew then that i had to do something to get myself over the pain, to get my mind off wanting what i wanted more than anything, and if you know me, if you have read my blog, then you would know that for me a list of things to do is certainly right up my ally (ie 30 before 30) So i made one, just a small one, and my main goal was to be a half marathon.

Many people wonder how i remember such trivial things, but i remember this as clear as day simply because i remember telling my sister and like everything – we always do things together, so this time of course my sister lit up and said that she too would run the half marathon with me, but at that point in my life, i didnt want another person sharing my goal, because my goal was to get over lossing the chance to be a mom, while my sisters goal would be to loose the baby weight… And it hurts me to say it now, but back then i couldnt handle that, i wanted to run alone, christmas 2009 i simply just wanted to be alone in my own self pity, so i snapped at my sister and told her that this race was ‘my’ race, that she wasnt ‘allowed’ to run it with me, quite frankly i was horrible and i remember the day i decided to run the half marathon simply because i was so cruel to someone i love so much…

But, as it seemed, fate had something better in stall for me than a half marathon in 2010…

So the goal, the list was postponed… Until this year, where in one sleeps time, my sister and i will run together, both having lost our baby weight, both having the families we deserve, and even now it brings a tear to my eye thinking that i could ever want to run alone without my dear sister and my wonderful father by my side.

It is now 5.31am and in 24.5 hours i will be lined up with thousands upon thousands of people all running for different reasons, all running to achieve many different things, the feelings inside are just so different to anything else i have felt before, almost like it is a challenge that is a stepping stone to something bigger in my life…

One should never fear sorrow because it is the stepping stone to happiness. Rig Veda