The Things He Does…

February 14, 2012 0 Comments

Day 539 in my miracles life

Happy Valentines Day my love…

Among many other things these are the top three ways you fill my heart with a love so sweet it cant be described…

You give your all to our daughter, you love her in ways that makes my heart sing and i know that with you as her father she will grow to be a wonderful lady.
You support me no matter what. Through the tough times you have loved me even when i have hated you. Through the impossible times you have told me it would be ok even when you wernt quite sure yourself. And through the good times you have been there holding my hands smiling at me making me feel like nothing could be more perfect.
Most importantly, you know the real me. You know everything about me, about my past, you know the reasons why my mind is a maze of confusion and yet – you still love me. No matter what i throw your way, no matter what torment from my past haunts me you still love me, somehow you still have a big enough heart to take all my pain on board and still love me. You love me.

And Jay Anthony Schull…. I love you too. More than you will ever realise.

Happy Valentines day my love. Thank you for being my dream man and our baby’s dream father…

Filed Under: 24. The Things He Does, 30 before 30, Fifteen to Eighteen Months, My Miracles Life Begins

The Things He Does…

January 10, 2012 0 Comments

Day 504 in my miracles life

Why am i doing this? Read it here….

Dr Seuss once said that “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams”

Today i dont really have enough mental power to let you know what my husband has done over the week for me, but each week when i sit down to write ‘the things he does’ it really does give me a time out to think about just how much i love him and just how much he really does do for me.

I remembered this quote because the other evening i had a bad dream. I cant remember it exactly but i remember waking up in a startle sweating pankicking that something had happened to my husband.

As i lay there not able to sleep i realised just how deep the love i have for him is…. It is a nightmare to me to think of a life without him in it…

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. Morrie Schwartz

Filed Under: 24. The Things He Does, 30 before 30, Fifteen to Eighteen Months, My Miracles Life Begins

17. A Cake To Celebrate!!

January 8, 2012 0 Comments

So last year i put on a huge hulla-ba-loo for my daughters first birthday where i made about a bajillion different sweets and went a little pink crazy! So when my step sons birthday rolled around i thought to myself, i better get my act into gear and make him a little something special…

I know he loves chocolate so the flavour of the cake was easy, but when it came to what on earth i should make the cake into i had NO idea… I mean 11 year old boys right? What on earth do i know about 11 year old boys?

ANYWHO…

I asked him.

And guess what 11 year old boys want their cakes to look like?

Lamborghini (yes i had to do a spell check on that one…)

Now when he first told me i thought to myself, a car, easy, not too hard…. OH MY was i wrong…

Do you people know what a Lamborghini looks like?

Let me show you….

My heart started pounding, you know that kind of anxious pounding you get when you start thinking you have gotton yourself in too deep?

So then my step son found this image for me to use…

And i began thinking, yeah i could maybe manage some sort of version…

So it began…

The Cake – Chocolate of Course

Stuff You’ll Need (recipe taken from “Gifts From the Kitchen” by Annie Rigg)

300grams dark chocolate (i used 70%)
200grams unsalted butter
6 large eggs, seperated
200grams castor sugar
150grams almond meal
1tbls plain flour
pinch of salt

How i did it

Preheat the oven to 170 deg cel, grease and line a tin of your choice. As i was making a car cake i used a wide square loaf tin. You may just have to adjust the cooking time depending on what tin you use.

Break the chocolate up and place in a heat proof bowl with the butter. Place in the microwave and zap for short bursts stirring in between to melt. Set aside to cool.

Place the egg yolks and sugar in a bowl and mix with a hand mixer on high until thick and pale. Slowly add the cooled chocolate mixture and mix until smooth. Fold in the almond meal and flour.

In a separate clean bowl whisk the egg whites with the salt until thick and hold stiff peaks. Slowly add the whites to the chocolate / flour mixture making sure not too loose any air.

Place in the tin and into the oven for about 50-60 minutes depending of course on the size tin you have used. Make sure you check in on it every so often and if the top is browning too much be sure to cover it.

Once cooked remove from the oven wrap and freeze.

Now to the carving and the icing of the car cake…

I didnt actually manage to get many images of the creation as i was totally in a zone and really really focused on getting it right. My husband managed to find me a model car to work off and i created a template on paper to sort of guide me on the shape.

Basically like with making any shape cake i got the basic details down pat and left the rest to the icing.

and yes, yes i am a VERY messy cook!

Anywho…

I am not sure if i actually did this right as i have never used marzipan before, but i gave it a shot and it sort of worked…. There is always a next time to figure it out better!

I used premade marzipan and bought some dyes. I kneaded the marzipan out and added the colour, using icing powder to dust the bench.

I rolled the marzipan out and used some warmed jam as glue on the cake before placing the sheet of marzipan over the cake…. Umm does that make sense?

The marzipan is rather like play dough and i was able to, more easliy than expected, form the shapes i required for the car, stick them on and smooth the joins over.

I am sure most of you have done this sort of thing before but to be honest i was quite impressed with myself for my first real attempt at creating a ‘designer’ cake! Anywho, here it is… Let me know what you think!!

Oh and FYI the cake is DIVINE! Very heavy, kind of like fudge very easy to mould / carve!

and here is just how much fun we had with all the family eating the very very rich cake!!

Filed Under: 2. Make 30 recipes chosen by 30 people, 30 before 30, Cooking, Fifteen to Eighteen Months, My Miracles Life Begins, Sweet

The Things He Does…

January 3, 2012 0 Comments

Day 498 in my miracles life

Why am i doing this? Read it here….

hmmm what to write what to write? Let me see…

While i went to bed at 9pm on NYE (yes shame, shame on me) my husband and i did watch a movie together, which was a lovely treat
OH, OH, OH the bestest husband in the world took george and i to the zoo last week! We had so much fun as a family – it was just wonderful.
Mr awesome totally looked after george for me while i worked this week (although i really think he enjoyed the time playing with little miss gorgeous)
He has just ducked down to the hardware shop to get me some child locks for all the doors and drawers little gerogii is now getting into!
He actually said one of my meals last week was, and i quote “yummy”!
Oh and as silly as it sounds this afternoon when my husband asked me how my tummy was (i had a bad ache yesterday) it made me feel really warm and fuzzy inside knowing that he cares about it
Oh and again as silly as it sounds, he cleaned my car out for me… And i am a grot when it comes to the insides of my car!

Oh he has been so wonderful to me over the holidays, i am going to miss him when he goes back to having to work!!

If we don’t change our direction we’re likely to end up where we’re headed. Chinese Proverb

Filed Under: 24. The Things He Does, 30 before 30, Fifteen to Eighteen Months, My Miracles Life Begins

Bye Bye 2011

January 1, 2012 0 Comments

Day 496 in my miracles life

I should be doing something else, but once again i got distracted and as i read this post i began thinking about 2011 and that while quite (mind my french) shitty there were some uh-mazing highlights that remind me that even through the clouds there is always sunshine…

So as i say bye bye to 2011 and welcome what i just know is going to be my year for self discovery and love i share my top ten highlights of 2011

I got out of my old job and into something i honestly want to do and something that inspires me for my future…
My precious little lady turned one – can you believe it? I have been a mom for over a year now!!
I found a new way to express myself and my creativity… I began baking!
Someone i have known for years as an acquaintance became a really really great friend who i can now confine in and funnily enough helps me by just listening to me yabber on
I got to my goal weight and beyond!
Oh and i cant forget that i ran a half marathon!!
Someone helped me to remember just how precious my husband was to me and that saying the “things he does” out loud really helps you to realise what husbands do in the smallest of ways to show you they love you.
Oh and i got a tattoo that constantly gives me inspiration to go on
I began writing as a contributor to a christian magazine
Learned that everything i do, i do for george… And with one look into her eyes – knowing that God sent her to me – i know that no matter what happens with her in my life i have everything i need, nothing else is important.

Bye bye 2011 – you showed me many things that i now know will make 2012 a year to enjoy and cherish

Filed Under: 30 before 30, Fifteen to Eighteen Months, My Miracles Life Begins

16. What to serve with marmalade?

December 30, 2011 0 Comments

Now as part of my 30 before 30 quest i thought i would make my friend from the gym some white chocolate bread to go with all the condiments i made for her as a gift for chirstmas. She loves white chocolate and what better way to enjoy marmalade, nut butter and lemon curd then to place it on top of chocolate bread?!

I didnt have a recipe i simply thought i would give this combination a shot and see how it went… The reports back were fantastic and as far as i am concerned that means it is a winner worthy of the blog ;o) oh and worthy of being number 16 on my list!!

White Chocolate Bread

Stuff you’ll need

300 grams of white chocolate (you could sub in milk or dark chocolate if you prefer)
3 cups bread flour
2 tsp yeast
1 cup milk
1 tbls sugar
pinch of salt

How i did it

Chucked it all in the bread machine and put it on normal white bread setting.

Filed Under: 2. Make 30 recipes chosen by 30 people, 30 before 30, Cooking, Fifteen to Eighteen Months, My Miracles Life Begins, Sweet

A New Year A New Approach..

December 29, 2011 0 Comments

Day 493 in my miracles life

The feeling of going round and round in circles was killing me.

No seriously, i cant take this anymore. I want my mind to begin healing and i want to make myself whole again for my baby girl. She is just beginning to develop her personality, to really take on board the world around her, to expore and as we all know at this age to begin mimicking our behaviors.

So when i realised the other week that i was getting no where in terms of healing my mind from my past, when i realised that my depression was still consuming me and everything that i had inside of me, i realised that it was time for a new approach.

When i began taking the anti depressants they worked wonders for me. The anger subsided and i felt on top of the world. Little did i realise then that the tablets were just a bandaid, a temporary fix for something that runs so much deeper. I need to talk about my past, i need to learn how to leave it in the past and i need to learn how to be a grown up. To release my mind from my 11 year old self and become an adult, become someone who knows who she is and where she stands in this world. To accept that my mother isnt here and that i am a strong woman even though she cant be here to support me.

And to get me through that process i need help. I cant do it alone.

And the head doctor i was seeing wasnt helping. She was simply listening to the ‘now’ and not helping me through the past. Giving me names for all my issues rather then tools to help me get through them… So i decided to change.

I am now seeing a Christian Councillor and within the first ten minutes of talking to her i knew she was going to be able to help me, and in fact the the first hour of seeing her i believe i accomplished more than in the six months i was seeing the head doctor.

Not only is she sympathetic and understanding but she has a plan. She spent the hour listening and writing and then before time was up she had not only given me tools to help cope and to help change my behaviours, but she had also layed down the ‘plan of attack’

She saw that i was a girl who needed direction, needed to know where i was headed and she gave me that.

And because of that i am now excited about 2012 and healing my mind, becoming whole and knowing that before i am 30 i will have a healed mind and be on my way to being the best possible mother i can be for my little miracle.

I am excited about 2012 – bring on the new year!

Filed Under: 16. Work on my patience & frustration levels, 20. Conquer the Demons of my past, 21. Work on loving my self image, 30 before 30, Fifteen to Eighteen Months, My Miracles Life Begins, Those who have made me frown

The Things He Does…

December 27, 2011 0 Comments

Day 491 in my miracles life

Why am i doing this? Read it here….

Ahh christmas time! What a wonderful time to celebrate the amazing things my husband does for me This week he has gone above and beyond anything he has ever done for me before….

He bought me a camera for christmas… Thats right a fancy pants new camera! I didnt even ask for it, he just got it himself – oh and not only that, he was smart enough to steal my credit card to pay for it (thats a good thing FYI – we share a credit card but there is only one card and it normally stays in my wallet)
On christmas eve he took george out for a couple of hours to give me time to bake
Even though he wanted to he didnt have too much to drink at his work christmas party so that he could drive home and so that i could use the car on the friday
Oh and he let me have the car all day friday to go out and spend all his money!
My sweet husband has taken care of george so much on his holidays letting me have a few minutes to set up my new blog that i have been wanting to do for ages!!
He has been cleaning up the lounge room each night while he has been on holidays
And on Christmas eve we had a wonderful giggle and night together after our dinner party… It was a great way to bring in christmas!

When you express your gratitude, you will bring joy to others’ lives. When others know joy, your life will be filled with happiness. Arthur Dobrin

Filed Under: 24. The Things He Does, 30 before 30, Fifteen to Eighteen Months, My Miracles Life Begins

Finding Myself as a Mother…

December 26, 2011 0 Comments

Day 490 in my miracles life

As my brother in law and i chatted on Christmas eve he was kind enough to take the time to look through my 30 before 30 list and give me the encouragement i needed to really think about the tasks i have chosen for myself and realise that sometimes just giving something a go is crossing it off my list.

As we chatted he said to me that i could cross off number 28. Find a Mothers Group. I replied with a confused look on my face that i hadnt found one. And he let me know that i had tried and that was enough.

And you know what, my brother in law is right. So what if i failed? I didnt go into this 30 by 30 needing to succeed at everything… I mean there are somethings in your life that you are allowed to try and fail at – right?

You see a few months ago i did “find” a mothers group. I went and i realised that it really wasnt what i needed. To be honest it was a terrible experience – and i was only there for an hour! I went, i felt like an outcast i made an excuse and i left…

Since then i have regularly joined a group at the local library where we go and sign nursery rhymes once a week, and while it is not a “mothers group” it is a bunch of mothers entertaining their children and socializing… AND i have made a friend and my daughter has made a friend at toddler time…

So in fact while i havent technically found a mothers group, i have tried and found something that george and i do enjoy together once a week

Filed Under: 28. Find A Mothers Group, Fifteen to Eighteen Months, My Miracles Life Begins

15. Christmas Has Come!

December 25, 2011 0 Comments

I know i should be sleeping but i am just so excited about this recipe i could burst!

I love my niece to bits and when she suggested a gingerbread cupcake village for christmas eve i almost fell of my chair! How on earth was i going to achieve that – i mean i am a good baker, not so much a good decorator! But i was set for the challenge and with this shocking image on board i, or should i say WE set to work

As i am not really a wheat girl anymore i decided to get creative and have a crack at a wheat free ginger bread cupcake recipe. I loosely based the recipe on this one here and added a cream cheese icing to finish. Now if i was to make it for myself i think i would scrap the icing and put a honey or date something or other on top or on the side… But as it stands they were yummy none the less! (and you need to remember my sweetness tooth isnt as sweet as it once was!)

Ok now back to the actual recipe… Now i believe that i have now fallen in love with coconut flour and i am thinking i will have to do some researching and buy in bulk cause that stuff is UH-Mazing!

Stuff You’ll Need (just for the ginger bread cake, i reckon you could figure out the rest so long as you have a variety of lollies and use your imagination!)

10 eggs
1/2 cup treacle
1 cup honey
200 grams naked ginger ( not raw but the stuff you find in the cooking isle)
1 cup sunflower oil (olive may work the same, havent tried it though)
1 tbls vanilla
1 tbls ground ginger
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup coconut four

How i did it

I am a guniess… Thats all i am going to say…

No just jokes, here is how i did it

Preheat the oven to 170 deg cel, grease and line mini cake tins – you could use normal ones but you will have to adjust the cooking time.

Attach the chopping blade to your food processor and process the ginger on high until it becomes a paste. Remove the blade attachement and swap it for a whisk attachment. I guess if you dont have one of those a stand mixer will have to do, but this attachment is seriously my new boyfriend (sorry jayjay) it is the best thing on earth!

Anywho…

Attach the whisk attachment and add 10 eggs to the ginger. Whisk until smooth and the eggs have about doubled in size. Slowly then as the whisk is still spinning add the treacle, then the honey then ever so slowly the oil. Then again while the mixer is still going add the vanilla ginger baking soda then last of all the coconut flour. Spin for another minute or so until the mixture is thick smooth consistancy. It will be runny but moderalty thick – if that makes sense?

Pout the batter into your pans and cook for about 20-25 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean.

Cool and ice…

Or eat warm.

Or stick it in the freezer and enjoy another day – but if i were you i would just eat it straight from the oven and deal with the calories the next day… I run perhaps? Or you could just remember that it has no wheat or gluten or processed sugar so you could just pretend that the calories dont count and that your bum wont be screaming at you when your jeans dont fit… Not that that matters once you have a peice of this cake in your mouth… Speaking of which if you promise not to tell ill let you in on a little secret…. I have a piece for breakfast… Shhh dont tell my trainer!

Anyway enjoy!

Filed Under: 2. Make 30 recipes chosen by 30 people, 30 before 30, Fifteen to Eighteen Months, My Miracles Life Begins