So last year i put on a huge hulla-ba-loo for my daughters first birthday where i made about a bajillion different sweets and went a little pink crazy! So when my step sons birthday rolled around i thought to myself, i better get my act into gear and make him a little something special…

I know he loves chocolate so the flavour of the cake was easy, but when it came to what on earth i should make the cake into i had NO idea… I mean 11 year old boys right? What on earth do i know about 11 year old boys?

ANYWHO…

I asked him.

And guess what 11 year old boys want their cakes to look like?

Lamborghini (yes i had to do a spell check on that one…)

Now when he first told me i thought to myself, a car, easy, not too hard…. OH MY was i wrong…

Do you people know what a Lamborghini looks like?

Let me show you….

My heart started pounding, you know that kind of anxious pounding you get when you start thinking you have gotton yourself in too deep?

So then my step son found this image for me to use…

And i began thinking, yeah i could maybe manage some sort of version…

So it began…

The Cake – Chocolate of Course

Stuff You’ll Need (recipe taken from “Gifts From the Kitchen” by Annie Rigg)

• 300grams dark chocolate (i used 70%)
• 200grams unsalted butter
• 6 large eggs, seperated
• 200grams castor sugar
• 150grams almond meal
• 1tbls plain flour
• pinch of salt

How i did it

Preheat the oven to 170 deg cel, grease and line a tin of your choice.  As i was making a car cake i used a wide square loaf tin.  You may just have to adjust the cooking time depending on what tin you use.

Break the chocolate up and place in a heat proof bowl with the butter.  Place in the microwave and zap for short bursts stirring in between to melt.  Set aside to cool.

Place the egg yolks and sugar in a bowl and mix with a hand mixer on high until thick and pale. Slowly add the cooled chocolate mixture and mix until smooth.  Fold in the almond meal and flour.

In a separate clean bowl whisk the egg whites with the salt until thick and hold stiff peaks.  Slowly add the whites to the chocolate / flour mixture making sure not too loose any air.

Place in the tin and into the oven for about 50-60 minutes depending of course on the size tin you have used.  Make sure you check in on it every so often and if the top is browning too much be sure to cover it.

Once cooked remove from the oven wrap and freeze.

Now to the carving and the icing of the car cake…

I didnt actually manage to get many images of the creation as i was totally in a zone and really really focused on getting it right.  My husband managed to find me a model car to work off and i created a template on paper to sort of guide me on the shape.

Basically like with making any shape cake i got the basic details down pat and left the rest to the icing.

and yes, yes i am a VERY messy cook!

Anywho…

I am not sure if i actually did this right as i have never used marzipan before, but i gave it a shot and it sort of worked…. There is always a next time to figure it out better!

I used premade marzipan and bought some dyes.  I kneaded the marzipan out and added the colour, using icing powder to dust the bench.

I rolled the marzipan out and used some warmed jam as glue on the cake before placing the sheet of marzipan over the cake…. Umm does that make sense?

The marzipan is rather like play dough and i was able to, more easliy than expected, form the shapes i required for the car, stick them on and smooth the joins over.

I am sure most of you have done this sort of thing before but to be honest i was quite impressed with myself for my first real attempt at creating a ‘designer’ cake! Anywho, here it is… Let me know what you think!!

Oh and FYI the cake is DIVINE! Very heavy, kind of like fudge very easy to mould / carve!

and here is just how much fun we had with all the family eating the very very rich cake!!

Day 500 in my miracles life

To my dearest little miracle,

Its not your birthday, far from it, but to me today i look at that number and think of just how quickly time has gone by since you were born.

500 days ago my life truly began.

500 days ago i began to realise just what was important in this lifetime.

500 days ago i while it may not have seemed like it for a long time, i began the process of healing, truly healing from the inside out.

500 days ago i realised why god put me on this earth.

500 days ago i realised that there is nothing more precious in this world than family, then the amazing love you can hold in your heart for one little lady.  I realised that life isnt about what you have but about who you have, i realised that possessions mean nothing if you dont have anyone to share them with.  I realised that learning all your life means nothing if you cant teach someone those lessons and I realised that giving you my all is everything i could have ever desired.

So much has happened in the past 500 days, since you entered my life and in all honesty i am a better wife, a better stepmom and a better person simply because of you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. And if i could cuddle you all day long i would.

Love from a mother that is.

Only mothers can think of the future-because they give birth to it in their children. Maxim Gorky

Day 498 in my miracles life

Why am i doing this? Read it here….

hmmm what to write what to write?  Let me see…

1. While i went to bed at 9pm on NYE (yes shame, shame on me) my husband and i did watch a movie together, which was a lovely treat
2. OH, OH, OH the bestest husband in the world took george and i to the zoo last week! We had so much fun as a family – it was just wonderful.
3. Mr awesome totally looked after george for me while i worked this week (although i really think he enjoyed the time playing with little miss gorgeous)
4. He has just ducked down to the hardware shop to get me some child locks for all the doors and drawers little gerogii is now getting into!
5. He actually said one of my meals last week was, and i quote “yummy”!
6. Oh and as silly as it sounds this afternoon when my husband asked me how my tummy was (i had a bad ache yesterday) it made me feel really warm and fuzzy inside knowing that he cares about it
7. Oh and again as silly as it sounds, he cleaned my car out for me… And i am a grot when it comes to the insides of my car!

Oh he has been so wonderful to me over the holidays, i am going to miss him when he goes back to having to work!!

If we don’t change our direction we’re likely to end up where we’re headed. Chinese Proverb

Day 496 in my miracles life

I should be doing something else, but once again i got distracted and as i read this post i began thinking about 2011 and that while quite (mind my french) shitty there were some uh-mazing highlights that remind me that even through the clouds there is always sunshine…

So as i say bye bye to 2011 and welcome what i just know is going to be my year for self discovery and love i share my top ten highlights of 2011

1. I got out of my old job and into something i honestly want to do and something that inspires me for my future…
2. My precious little lady turned one – can you believe it? I have been a mom for over a year now!!
3. I found a new way to express myself and my creativity… I began baking!
4. Someone i have known for years as an acquaintance became a really really great friend who i can now confine in and funnily enough helps me by just listening to me yabber on
5. I got to my goal weight and beyond!
6. Oh and i cant forget that i ran a half marathon!!
7. Someone helped me to remember just how precious my husband was to me and that saying the “things he does” out loud really helps you to realise what husbands do in the smallest of ways to show you they love you.
8. Oh and i got a tattoo that constantly gives me inspiration to go on
9. I began writing as a contributor to a christian magazine
10. Learned that everything i do, i do for george… And with one look into her eyes – knowing that God sent her to me – i know that no matter what happens with her in my life i have everything i need, nothing else is important.

Bye bye 2011 – you showed me many things that i now know will make 2012 a year to enjoy and cherish

Now as part of my 30 before 30 quest i thought i would make my friend from the gym some white chocolate bread to go with all the condiments i made for her as a gift for chirstmas.  She loves white chocolate and what better way to enjoy marmalade, nut butter and lemon curd then to place it on top of chocolate bread?!

I didnt have a recipe i simply thought i would give this combination a shot and see how it went… The reports back were fantastic and as far as i am concerned that means it is a winner worthy of the blog ;o) oh and worthy of being number 16 on my list!!

White Chocolate Bread

Stuff you’ll need

• 300 grams of white chocolate (you could sub in milk or dark chocolate if you prefer)
• 3 cups bread flour
• 2 tsp yeast
• 1 cup milk
• 1 tbls sugar
• pinch of salt

How i did it

Chucked it all in the bread machine and put it on normal white bread setting.

Day 493 in my miracles life

The feeling of going round and round in circles was killing me.

No seriously, i cant take this anymore.  I want my mind to begin healing and i want to make myself whole again for my baby girl.  She is just beginning to develop her personality, to really take on board the world around her, to expore and as we all know at this age to begin mimicking our behaviors.

So when i realised the other week that i was getting no where in terms of healing my mind from my past, when i realised that my depression was still consuming me and everything that i had inside of me, i realised that it was time for a new approach.

When i began taking the anti depressants they worked wonders for me.  The anger subsided and i felt on top of the world.  Little did i realise then that the tablets were just a bandaid, a temporary fix for something that runs so much deeper.  I need to talk about my past, i need to learn how to leave it in the past and i need to learn how to be a grown up.  To release my mind from my 11 year old self and become an adult, become someone who knows who she is and where she stands in this world. To accept that my mother isnt here and that i am a strong woman even though she cant be here to support me.

And to get me through that process i need help.  I cant do it alone.

And the head doctor i was seeing wasnt helping.  She was simply listening to the ‘now’ and not helping me through the past.  Giving me names for all my issues rather then tools to help me get through them… So i decided to change.

I am now seeing a Christian Councillor and within the first ten minutes of talking to her i knew she was going to be able to help me, and in fact the the first hour of seeing her i believe i accomplished more than in the six months i was seeing the head doctor.

Not only is she sympathetic and understanding but she has a plan.  She spent the hour listening and writing and then before time was up she had not only given me tools to help cope and to help change my behaviours, but she had also layed down the ‘plan of attack’

She saw that i was a girl who needed direction, needed to know where i was headed and she gave me that.

And because of that i am now excited about 2012 and healing my mind, becoming whole and knowing that before i am 30 i will have a healed mind and be on my way to being the best possible mother i can be for my little miracle.

I am excited about 2012 – bring on the new year!

Day 491 in my miracles life

Why am i doing this? Read it here….

Ahh christmas time! What a wonderful time to celebrate the amazing things my husband does for me This week he has gone above and beyond anything he has ever done for me before….

1. He bought me a camera for christmas… Thats right a fancy pants new camera! I didnt even ask for it, he just got it himself – oh and not only that, he was smart enough to steal my credit card to pay for it (thats a good thing FYI – we share a credit card but there is only one card and it normally stays in my wallet)
2. On christmas eve he took george out for a couple of hours to give me time to bake
3. Even though he wanted to he didnt have too much to drink at his work christmas party so that he could drive home and so that i could use the car on the friday
4. Oh and he let me have the car all day friday to go out and spend all his money!
5. My sweet husband has taken care of george so much on his holidays letting me have a few minutes to set up my new blog that i have been wanting to do for ages!!
6. He has been cleaning up the lounge room each night while he has been on holidays
7. And on Christmas eve we had a wonderful giggle and night together after our dinner party… It was a great way to bring in christmas!

When you express your gratitude, you will bring joy to others’ lives.  When others know joy, your life will be filled with happiness. Arthur Dobrin