I tell no lies, some days i sit here feeling sorry for myself thinking that nothing could be worse then being infertile. Nothing could be worse then having to get help for something that should come easily, be fun and stress free for me and my husband.

Some days i sit here thinking that i have it so f***ing bad - if you've read my posts you can see that sometimes it is like i am in a big black tunnel and the only light is one small dot that i will only reach once i am pregnant.

I forget where i came from, i forget how i got here, the people that got me here, i forget who i am, and most importantly i forget why i am doing this.

A lot lately i hear stories of people who are in similar mind frames, however when i hear their stories, i am always able to see the light in their lives, i am able to say "yes but look at what you have, you have so many blessings that should be counted..."

In not quite sure if saying it is a major human fault  is the right way to put it, however to get so caught up in our lives, and so focused on getting something that we want, we forget who we are, and more importantly we forget what we have.  We need to stop and put things into perspective, put ourselves out there and say 'Hey - it's not that bad'

Today on my way home from a very stressful and busy day while i was looking out to a sea of red break lights, i looked over out the passenger side window and watched the sun going down behind the trees, i honestly sat there thinking - what could be better than watching this.  I am a sucker for a good sunrise and sunset, for some reason i get an amazing amount of inspiration from it... and this afternoon, through my hormone crazed brain, i managed to sit there and count my blessings...

...and you know what - IT IS NOT THAT BAD!...

...as someone once told me "you could be dead or in jail"

So Life is a bitch, and being infertile - even more of a bitch, but if i have one piece of advice, just one thing to tell everyone out there who is going through hell at the moment or about to face IVF hell or even those who are just miserable because life sucks- NEVER EVER FORGET where you came from, how you got here, who you are, WHAT YOU HAVE, and most importantly never forget the memories and friends you have gained along the way.

"If only the people who worry about their liabilities would think about the riches they do possess, they would stop worrying." Dale Carnegie