Day 415 in my miracles life

I had a goal, i have had many goals over the past year, all of which were achieved except one.  This one.  I wanted so much for my birthday, a year after i took the first post pregnancy photo of myself, to be the day that i hit a goal, to get to the magical number i had been pushing myself so hard to get to.

And while i didnt get to that magical number, i did get somewhere.

A year ago i looked into the mirror and hated what i saw.  A year ago today i took a photo of myself and promised myself that i would not look like that this time next year, and you know what, i dont.  It was hard, it still is hard, but when i look in the mirror i actually find myself proud of what i have achieved.

I didnt reach the magical numbers, but this morning as i ran on the treadmill i realised that tomorrow is another day, and simply because i failed to make the numbers this week, on this day, doesnt mean anything – it just means that i must wake up to a new day and push myself a little harder eat time i hit the gym, it simply means that no matter what i have to make myself accountable for what goes into my mouth and no matter what i have to know that while i didnt achieve the goal i set out to, i still achieved something amazing, and the next time i take a photo of myself – i will not only be further that my origional goal, but i will know that i can.

No matter what there is no cant, no wont, nothing but i can and i will….

I am the road runner – catch me if you can!

Day 399 in my miracles life

I keep searching and searching for something that i will never find, or maybe that i am just not ready to find yet… I am so used to living with a goal, so used to knowing what i am heading toward that the unknown of the future scares me to death… Is the source of my depression, my trigger yesterday.

So its not a long long term goal, but it is a goal, something for me to focus on over the next 18 days….

I want to, no i WILL break the binge habit, and on my 29th birthday i WILL love the reflection i see when i stand in my bathers in front of the mirror…

It will be one year after i took this image…

I was 73kg and 29% fat…

In 18 days my goal is to be 58kg and 18% fat

I want so desperately to achieve number 21 on my 30 before 30, and while i KNOW it is not what is on the outside, i also know that my bad binging habit is something that needs to be broken, that cant be passed onto my baby girl…

Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of. Proverb

Day 369 in my miracles life

Starting today i am begining a 21 day diet… Not just a food diet, but a mind and soul diet as well.

We all know i have my Operation Body Love part of my life, constantly working to fall in love with my body and know that it is what is on the inside that counts – being healthy…

Since i have reached my goal weight i have found that i am loosing motivation and that in the midst of the yoyo effect i have created a really bad baking and binging habit on weekends… So to be honest with you the main goal of this ‘diet’ is mostly to break that habit and create a new one where i am eating foods that i can happily eat on the weekends as well, creating a way of living rather than starving myself during the week and only eating the ‘good’ stuff on the weekends.

As for my mind and soul… I am making over that part of my life as well… While i am loosing the 2kg and 2% body fat that i want to loose, i am going to be working on getting myself and my now miss one OUT of the house! Yes you heard right, this week i am going to make an effort to get us OUT!  We are going to create two new habits within my 21 day challenge and hopefully in a few months i will have made both of us some valuable friendships

On mondays we are going to go to the libary for story time, and on thursday we are going to play group… No really – i am going!

You see i have said i am going to be going for about two months now, but every time i get a chance i make an excuse, i dont know why, i guess i am scared to put myself out there, worried that people wont like us…  But it is time… I cant keep us both sheltered from the world forever….

We are going to be healthy happy social butterflies…

Faith is the daring of the soul to go farther than it can see. William Newton Clarke