Fourteen Weeks, five days. Day 105 in the quest to chase our little miracle

Toady i am scared.

I shouldnt be, maybe i should be i dont know, but i am scared

The whole IVF thing is awful, just awful.  You spend so long wanting and hoping and dreaming, and then it happened and you think the pain and fear is over, but its not.

Today i am scared, and i have no one to turn to.

I am scared because i have these little cramps, and i dont know if they are normal.  They are not that painful, just weird, and i have this anxious feeling as well.  It seems to be a little better now after my shower, but i still cant help but to feel scared.

We went through so much to get here and to get this far, and to have these fears is just so overwhelming.

Idont know what to think, or what to do.  I have an appointment tomorrow, where i pray that i will just be told everything is normal, but my fears are still there, and they are real, and i will not deny them, i will get over them, i will enjoy my day today, but i will not deny them.

I often wonder if we didnt go through IVF would these fears be as real? Would my anxiety be as strong? And it often makes me wonder if my fears are justified, or just a silly frame of mind that the struggles i went through to get here put me in…

You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith. Mary Manin Morrissey