Sometimes i have to wonder where my inspiration went.

I used to wake up and want to be creative, i used to wake up with a thousand ideas running through my mind, not to be able to go back to sleep until the ideas were on paper... I used to be creative...

But since last year i am not... I have lost my inspiration.

Last year through all that i went though i lost the urge to paint and draw, i lost my inspiration, my creativity.

I thought it would come back, i thought that this year with all the hope i have, with everything turned out for the better, with my dreams slowly becoming reality, i thought my creativity and my inspiration would return.

But last night as i began my much anticipated paint class, i realised that everything i used to have is hidden, buried much deeper that i ever expected.

I gave it away, i gave something of myself away last year, and now as i sit here trying to find the inspiration i need, trying to find that part of me i used to love so much, trying to find what once gave me peace, i wonder why i let it go.  I wonder why i gave up something that i used to love so much?

What makes us dive so deep into a hole that we cant get out?

I need to find my inspiration, my creativity, i need to find my confidence, and i need to find the passion i once had for art.  My mind tells me the only way i can achieve that is to pull myself back to who i once was, forget what i lost, and focus on what i have.

I think only then will i find the creativity i once possessed, find the inspiration and confidence i so desperately desire...

It is better to create than to be learned, creating is the true essence of life. Barthold Georg Niebuh

Hope is the dandelion seed you just wished upon...