sleep

October 25, 2010 0 Comments

Day 61 in my miracles life.

Its been 61 days since i have had a good nights sleep. 61 days since my world was turned up side down in the most magical way, but 61 days where i have been living on pure love and hope.

And it is finally honestly beginning to take its toll.

I am exhausted, purely and utterly exhausted…

I need a good nights sleep, and i cant help but to wonder when that will be.

Sure my husband could take a night here and there, sure i could get six hours once in a blue moon, sure i could have a nap in the afternoon…. But that is not what i need. I need my little lady to learn to sleep through the night, and i am wondering when this happens, i am wondering at what age does she no longer need to wake to feed, i need a time frame, i need to know how much longer to hold out for?

I have read the books, i am working the routines…. But still she wakes at 2.30 / 3.00 am each morning…

Is it me? Am i doing this wrong? Or am i just being impatient? Is my exhaustion taking over my reality checker?

I know she is small, i understand that she is young… But how long? How much longer will it be before i can see the light of a good nights sleep….

How much longer before the early morning screams turn into silence?

How do i approach this in the most selfless way?

Day 170 – Night, night, sleep tight….

Fourteen Weeks, two days. Day 102 in the quest to chase our little miracle

I have never been a heavy sleeper, in fact most of my life i have had trouble sleeping.

For the past 4 or 5 years, i have woken every morning before 5am, my body not letting me sleep any later, i would try, i would lay there of a morning and make myself go back to sleep, but most of the time i would get another half hour and wake again.

My nights used to be filled with tossing and turning, waking up every time the cat moved or my husband rolled over, counting sheep, counting back from 1000, counting the things i could do the next day.

This is now in the past.

Last night for the first time that i can remember, i was dead to the world. I feel asleep watching tv at about 8pm, and i dont remember a thing until 4.50am this morning.

This is when my husband told me that he had come home at around 9pm, accidentally slammed the door, had a shower with the adjoining door to our bedroom open, stopped the dog from barking, stopped the dog from pouncing, asked me about my day, told me about his day… Fell asleep, and apparently i got up 4 times for bathroom trips…

I dont remember ANY of it!

Where was i? There were no dreams, no faint memories, nothing, just out like a light…

Do normal people sleep like this? Or is it a pregnancy thing? Or was it because i have been working long hours? I honestly felt like i had been drugged for hours, and when i woke up i was all groggy and hazy…

And to be honest right now i feel like i could curl up on the office floor and sleep for a century!

There is only one thing people like that is good for them; a good night’s sleep. Edgar Watson Howe